22 july 2017
I'm really struggling, town. Content Note: suicide
Chester Bennington killed himself yesterday. Linkin Park got me through a lot of stuff when I was a kid. It was an outlet for a lot of anger and depression, and probably kept me from getting worse.
This news has hit me hard.
A lot harder than I expected.
I have been despondant and numb all day today. I've barely eaten but have no appetite. Suicidal thoughts are right there on the surface. I want to be okay, and maybe therapy this weekend will help with that.
Anyway, I love you, townies.
05 july 2017
Yesterday, my shift started at 6 am, today my shift starts at 3:30 am. I want to die.
11 june 2017
I feel horrendous today. like i have an emotional hangover from therapy.
i am glad i'm making curry and going out into nature tomorrow.
07 june 2017
Technology that doesnt care about people first and foremost is going to be oppressive.
People are important. More important than ability, skill, or anything. People are important regardless.
02 june 2017
honestly i'm not certain that things aren't just better off without me. what the fuck am i contributing anyway?
june is now empty.
26 may 2017
I don't think I would be surviving this job if I couldn't connect to tilde.town. It is the only thing that helps me fight the urge to just quit (that and the encouragement of my partner-friend).
I'm really hoping that I am able to get that other job, being able to pay bills would be life-saving.
In hopes of funding some of my passions, I've started a patreon. Maybe someone will be interested in funding my weird twitter bot art? Maybe I will then do more art? Who knows?
27 march 2017
I start working for support.com today. I am not all that excited about it, tbh. I don't like being part of the meatgrinder of the exploitative customer service racket.
But a paycheck is a paycheck. I will deal with this as opposed to not eating.
14 march 2017
I remember when I used to play this online nation simulation game nearly 10 years ago, and one of the parties was a weeaboo pseudo-fascist group. At the time, I thought nothing of it, but now looking back, I wonder how many of them are part of the alt-right movement. Their IRC channel was always full of horrendous shit hidden behind a guise of irony and with cute anime pics.
It's horrifying to think about how I never thought anything.
27 february 2017
While I can do many things will amazingly high, writing code is not one of them.
14 february 2017
I took a job offer with support.com. I feel icky but really need to have a remote job fast.
20 january 2017
I have too much to do today, but I'm so anxious over the new president.