*~banter legend~*
f a q
- what is banter?
- banter is a way to safely express your horrible opinions.
consider the following two statements:
women are worthless
women are worthless. banter!
as you can see, the second statement still expresses your terrible idea but you can get away with that shit by pretending to distance yourself from the position - who can get involved with banter?
- lads.
- i've been bantered right off. what can i do??
- you must banter back. see below.
- lad banter
- All banter is lad bad banter unless you are a bird then it is not banter at all. Shut your noise you slag and make me a sandwich, now that is banter! When you are out with the lads on a messy one you don't even need to think about what you're gonna say, just use some banter! When you have banter you don't need words. Plus if you see any tasty birds, chat em up with some banter. But only if they are a 7/10 or above mate! Be a GoodLAD.
- how do I banter someone off?
So you want to banter someone off? No worries mate, bantering off your friends, family, the work lot or even pets is an important part of being a top drawer legendary #lad, and we'll tell you how.
In order to banter someone off you just need to think of something offensive you saw on TV or facebook and just shout it at the target. Don't worry if it's not the right time or place, that's just part of the banter! You can banter someone off at the pub, staff meeting, wake or even just strangers on the street. Once you have bantered someone you can tell if they have bantered off in one of two ways. If they laugh and join in you have failed to banter them off, if they don't say anything in reply or get annoyed you know you have bantered someone off big time.
It ain't sexist, racist or homophobic, it's just banter so don't worry about upsetting people, everyone knows it ain't rude if it's just banter, there are no consequences and you mate are a legend.
- when to banter?
-
All the fucking time! No situation is off limits as long as your banter is bantz enough!!
recent research [1] reveals that there is no incorrect time for banter but that the best places are crowded public areas and especially public transport. remember, everyone always enjoys your banter. the more lads the more hilarious everyone will find it.
- am I banter?
- If you have to ask mate, you are not banter. But you can become banter by following this guide. Your banter will go from piss poor to top drawer.
- top banter phrases
-
- "I'm not racist but..." - a good banter phrase to start off your banter session. the good thing about this one is that you can say absolutely anything you like after this disclaimer and noone is allowed to call you out on it because you've already proved you're not racist
- "look mate everyone's entitled to their opinion..." - more top quality bants as now if anyone disagrees then they disagree with the very idea that people should be allowed to have opinions
- "I'm just saying what everyone's thinking" - this is top-shelf banting since now anything you say can be taken to be a universal truth. remember, everyone is really thinking it, even if they protest otherwise.
- banter resources
- This page right here you mug! Also get your self following Dapper Laughs he is a top lad and a #banter king, and Lad bible, uni lad, true lad, nuts magazine or any other lad page you can find.
- top banter phrases
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- Archbishop of Banterbury
- Bantlepiece
- Bantomine
- Bantom of the Opera
- Star Wars: The bantom menace
- Bantidote
- Bantersaurous Rex
- banterdisestablishmentarianism
- Bantastic
- Bantabulous
- Bantasitc four
- Bantanamo Bay
- Eric Bantona
That will get you started! Make sure you add ledge, epic or top drawer, as well as hashtags for even more #bantz. Sex is always top bantz too, nothing funnier than bantering about birds. SHE KNOWS SHE KNOWS!!! - official banter LADS
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- ~karlen
- Dapper laughs
- Jay from the Inbetweeners
- Your dad
- Mark Wright
- Malky MacKay
- Andy Gray and Richard Keys
- Nigel Farage
- Jeremy Clarkson
- George Galloway
- Your mates
