14 march 2019
I read some others' feels before starting these feels and I am feeling feels. There's just so much. Maybe it's a problem with that limit to the number of people you can keep relationships with? Like all these people on the Internet I want to have a real relationship with but that won't happen, not really, not if we don't meet face to face.
And I don't know if I want that either. What if everyone is lame or thinks I'm lame? I could probably organize a meetup on Reddit but there's this voice in the back of my head that's like, You don't want to do that, that's for losers. Which is absolutely not true. In my head I know that we all are people and we deserve connection, etc. but in my body there's this fear and disgust and I don't know. I don't like not knowing I think.
I was going to write about something else tonight. But my notebook is in my backpack is in --- no wait, I have it here.
Anyway it's not important.
But I do want to mention that I joined another Jabber server today: chat me at acdw@404.city if you want, if you're reading this. It's part of that reaching out for communication thing. It's what we do as people, right?
Wow, I wrote this after midnight last night. I'm definitely feeling not sleeping today. So. Tired.
Other than that, today has gone okay. I got a haircut. I got some work done at work. R got her dress in so that's exciting. I think we're going to go get pizza later for Pi day -- it's 3.14 a pie, which is incredible.
Found out our favorite bar downtown is closing, which especially sucks because we were planning on our wedding afterparty to be there. We'll have to find a new venue now, I guess. I wonder why they're closing -- maybe not enough profit? Or maybe something else.