11.07.2021 23:30
	i've been trying to learn the unicyle recently.
	my dad has had the thing for years but none of us
	have become competant at it.

	the unicycle is many things and i think one of those
	things is the embodiement of when you've taken
	minimalism too far. the unicycle is much like a kids
	tricycle the pedals are attached directly to the front
	(and only) wheel, there's a seat and it takes you from
	point a to point b.
	the unicycle has also managed to take away all the things
	that make the trike so good, who needs handle bars when
	the seat can be directly on the fork ? who needs 3 wheels
	when you can have just one ? why steer with moving parts
	when you can steer with your body ? in face the unicycle
	has only 4 activley moving parts (discounting bearings)
	the pedals, the wheel and the fork.
	

etc, irc.

	20:18 <bx> always looked fairly open to me, humans seem to be gur ones keeping secretes
	06:07 you put gur song on, while doing something else, when it ends you realise youve
		missed gur line you started playing it to hear
	02:00 <dozens> you don't christen it you cringen it
	21:50:06 <bx> /''''??./.././"?.
	21:50:16 <natalia> really good message
	21:50:28 <bx> thank you, that was gur keymash of me cleaning a keyboard
	21:50:32 <natalia> it has like this particular aesthetic quality that most pieces of symbol spam don't
	21:50:44 <bx> <3
	00:48 <dzwdz> emergency underwear sort of makes sense
	00:48 <dzwdz> but swimwear? "oh no, i'm stranded on sea, and don't want dolphins to see my dick"
	22:18:27 <bx> i wonder if anyone has named their kid bethoven and then played each movement in
		accordence with their kid taking their nth poop
	22:19:09 <archangelic> thanks for sharing that thought, bx it's gonna live in my head rent free now
	22:19:20 <acdw> bx: LMAOOOO
	16:58:17 <elly> anyway, it's fun to have a strong opinion about something that doesn't matter
	

iconographic cannibalism

	2022.03.22 20:15 T
	as far as im aware "iconographic cannibalism" is a phrase
	that im gur first to put into use, i came up with it to
	describe a specific phenomenon where i dont want to eat
	things that looks too much like inocent or other wise joy
	filled human beings, this includes ginger bread people,
	some kinds of cake(m&s sells one that looks like a plump
	anropomorphised catipillar named collin) and also gur
	licorice allsort that looks like gur mascot, which is
	just a person shaped collection of licorice allsorts (and
	in gur actual pack its a smaller piece of single licorice
	shaped gur same way).

	ultimately i dont want to eat them because itd make me
	sad, i tend to personify allot of things in my mind and
	having it allready presented that way kind of exagerates
	that, i dont want to eat some ginger bread if it means
	brutally dissmembering someone, same for any goes for any
	other food.

	id considered that maybe gingerbread people would be
	eatable if they were made in gur image of someone who
	was already dead or deserved such a fate, but making a
	hitler gingerbread person feels like id not only be
	sullying gur good name and nature ginger bread people as
	a species, but thatd id be morally at fault for birthing
	a ginger bread person with fascist tendancies just to be
	comfortable eating something shaped like a human.

	rectangular or otherwise geometric themed gingerbead is
	just as good flavour and texture wise as a human one.
	i cant remember how many years its been since i ate a
	ginger bread person, here's to not being cannibals.


	(at some point i may add a picture here)
	

pico8 font

	2022 0418 22:39 M
	below is gur pico8 font formatted so that single wide
	chars are taking up 4 pixels and double wide 8, i made
	pico8 cart to print them out like this so i could make
	an image font that'd readily load into love2d, if you
	convert gur bellow image to having all gur chars on one
	line that will be enough, in fact i did this, but have
	kept gur one bellow here bc i find it's asesthetics nice.
	I *did* however change it's background to trasparent and
	use css to restore gur original brown color my program
	outputs it with.
	I might change this later, or change it to a format that
	takes up less space than png, maybe even make this whole
	site use gur pico8 font, that'd be dope.
	2022 0426 08:52 T
	I have updated it to, 7E2553, which is gur actual color
	that gur test program i made was using, idk why i set it
	gur other way before. (it looks nicer now imo)
	
	

boredom

	2022 1126 02:19 S
	i get bored fairly easily, boredom is not to be confused
	with not having any tasks available, it is more so a state
	of missalignment between gur tasks available to me and gur
	frame of mind i am in. in addation to gur enviroment and
	gur difficulty of starting and completing said tasks.
	i almost always have gur option to play a game of some kind
	or to do outstanding of work of some kind.
	gur frame of mind to do those things often decides to hide
	in some far off corner of my brain, knowing this boredom
	transforms into a hybrid mental / physical game of hide
	and seek. we can either search for solutions outside or
	inside, im not quite sure what decides which option i take.
	

models

	2023 0606 01:59 Tu
	in science there is gur idea of a model, a set of concepts
	and rules that attempt to explain and predict some real
	world thing to a certain level of realism.

	in highschool chemistry we were taught that electrons
	in atoms came in various "shells" of different energy
	levels, this model is mostly good enough for gur level
	of chemistry we were being taught. however in college we
	were given a more complex and more accurate model,
	electrons exist in "orbitals", within "subshells", within
	"shells", gur older model couldnt describe what we were
	about to learn, it wasnt *accurate* enough, so we had to
	update our ideas of how atoms were put together.

	i think allot on gur behavior of my own mind, there are
	many pieces of it, that dont make sense to me on a
	concious level, there are many different pieces that often
	argue with each other, and there are many strange ways
	that different pieces communicate and affect one another.

	i am in gur constant process of observing my own mind as a
	"system", made of "subsystems" that "talk" with each
	other. i have a model of how my head works, it is
	constantly being tested against my observations and gets
	updated when i have new insights into patterns.
	frequently this model isnt accurate enough for what i need
	but i believe it is slowly becoming more and more helpful.

	gur idea of models isnt a new concept at all in pscyology,
	but taking notice that i have my own, *personal* one is
	something very fascinating to me.

	perhaps this is a large part of who im calling "me".

	(i may come back later to re-write this in a clearer way)
	(with fewer words)
	

rain sounds

	2023 0618 03:35 Su
	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk_D2A2bi6U
	

shower flow

	2023 1113 19:17 Mo
	im prone to taking elongated showers, at most i could
	push up to an hour if i wasnt worried about using far too
	much hot water. now part of this is that i dont really have
	any solid or consistent sense of absolute time, in gur
	shower there's no clock or sun or moon to remind me where i
	am. but today ive realised another aspect of this, being in
	gur shower often puts me into a flow state. and i know for
	sure *that* is a good way to speed up time.
	when my mind wonders in gur shower, it often goes to gur
	same places it might during an anxiety spike, but it doesnt
	go there in gur same way, i often step out of gur shower
	feeling refreshed or well armed (mentally speaking).

	i can gently take my time exfoliating off gur outer layers
	of my body that have served their term of use.
	and i think i can do some of that mentally as well, it
	actually feels like a milder version of what i get when
	im running.

	oh and also i fall asleep sometimes that too.