Yesterday was a Saturday. I picked up SnowRunner on nintendo switch 2 that I
bought long time ago and started playing. This time I *really* got into it,
playing for a whole day straight. At 2:30am Sunday morning I was so tired and
decided to sleep. Realizing that I can't affort the time and energy to play
games, I struggled up and deleted it. The game was hard to begin with, as you
don't know the rules and how to operate the cars. So it's easy to get stuck.
Two things got me further this time, one is figuring out pressing "Y" can auto
attach winch, instead of manually picking winch points everytime. Another is
realizing I can find free trucks and cars in the wild. Even selling them
outweighs the money from doing tasks (which was way harder and earns little).
Also the found vehicles can be upgraded and customized which adds to the fun
and grinding. The world is huge with connected maps.


Work is getting more and more stressful, as I got myself into this role of
"leading" a pod of people, and we haven't been able to clearly define the
scope and disambiguate with other teams. I also haven't been able to make as
much progress as I'd like in gaining deep expertise - which is still being
worked on. I think I need to realize that building expertise cannot be rushed,
which may adds to the stress. I need to realize that I need a more sustainable
path towards it. That means I need to start thinking about a sustainable
area/scope to own. And think about if I can do this more longer term - this
started last November and my new exploration. So in a sense I should give
myself credit that this mangaed to stick so long. But on the other side, what
I've been doing is too superficial and *I need depth*! What makes the stress
is these factors compound - me lacking technical depth, us lacking clear scope
and vision.


I'm trying to get J into watching Andor and we're 3 episode in and she liked
it.


I used a mastodon account to capture quick but private thoughts in the past
two years. In a way, it competes with the very occationally available writing
time that I spent here. But I do find it convenient. Lately I found I need to
capture web links I read (work/life), and I'm hesitant to post them in my more
public account as people may find it annoying. So I started post them
privately. I like this idea and it's a better use of my private account. I
think of it now as a private stream of my random thoughts (dump ground). Here
this blog is more intentional. I am rewarded much more by writing and reading
this blog.