I discovered quite recently that the word ‘effeminate’ is defined in the dictionary as a slur, a derogatory term to describe a man. The inherent misogyny in that fact took me by surprise, it never occurred to me that it would be derogatory for a man to be feminine.
Anyway, I suppose I’m not a man, certainly not in the archetypal sense of the word. I would best be described as non-binary in that respect, I’ve always been feminine as men go, I’m probably trans, but I don’t have the intesnse dysphoria that trans people seem to suffer, and while trans people don’t tend to insist on intense dysphoria to be considered trans, it’s never felt quite right for me.
One of the nicest things I’ve chosen to do is DIY oestradiol. This brings my testosterone down to female range, and raises my oestradion levels to female range. I feel generally more human like this, personally much more at ease with myself.
More than this, my whole journey has enlightened me about so many things, not least being aware of the sources of misogyny, the roots of patriarchy and, as a citizen and resident of the United Kingdom, the deeply conservative nature of the British state. Not the public, we’re mostly secular, non-religious, but oh my god the stuffy British state is totally regressive.
I now understand our need for secularism in the UK, a priority in education in particular.