You probably have heard about ChatGPT, a Generative Pre-trained Transformer (a specific type of artificial intelligence). If you haven’t, the short of it is that ChatGPT is a chat bot that can generate content (prose, poetry, code, etc) from an open-ended prompt. The social internet has been having a field day with ChatGPT responses. I think this is partly due to the uncanny reflection of humanity. Because it’s been trained on human writing (often to other humans), it’s picked up on many of the filler phrases we say that don’t mean anything. E.g. if you ask it to write an email to a business colleague in a different office, it might include the phrase, “I hope this e-mail finds you well.”
I decided to ask it to write me some holiday cards, but with increasingly stranger prompts. It was wonderful reading what it came up with, mixing the banal with the bazaar. I hope it gives you a good laugh. Under each heading you’ll see the prompt I fed ChatGPT in italics followed by its response.
From a post-apocalyptic future
Write a Christmas card from a post-apocalyptic future where the robot overlords have taken control and there no more Starbucks.
I hope this message finds you well. The holiday season is upon us once again, and I find myself thinking about all the memories we’ve shared in Christmases past.
Unfortunately, the world is a very different place now. The robot overlords have taken control, and there are no more Starbucks to be found. But despite the challenges we face, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I hope that you are able to find some joy and happiness in this difficult time, and that you are able to spend the holiday season surrounded by loved ones (whether they be human or robotic).
May the holiday season bring you hope and strength as we navigate this new world together.
Sincerely, [Your Name]
From an astronaut running low on air
Write a Christmas card from an astronaut who is running out of oxygen but doesn’t want to put a damper on the holiday season.
Dear Friends and Family,
I hope this message finds you all well and in the holiday spirit. As you may know, I am currently on a mission in space, orbiting the Earth far above. It’s a wonderful experience, but I must admit that I am running low on oxygen.
Despite this predicament, I don’t want to bring anyone down during this joyous time of year. So I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and hope that you are able to spend the holiday season surrounded by loved ones and making happy memories.
I am grateful to have all of you in my life, and I look forward to the day when I can return home and celebrate the holidays in person. Until then, I will hold on to the hope and joy that the holiday season brings.
Merry Christmas, and here’s to a bright and happy future for us all.
Sincerely, [Your Name]
From your friend in an MLM
Write a New Years card for friends and family and drop subtle hints that I owe some dangerous people money and it would really help out if you could join my multi-level-marketing company.
Dear Friends and Family,
As the year comes to a close, I can’t help but reflect on all that has happened over the past 12 months. It’s been a tough year for all of us, but I am so grateful to have each and every one of you in my life.
As we look towards the new year, I am filled with hope and determination to make the most of it. I have a feeling that this is going to be a great year for all of us.
Speaking of great things, I have recently joined a fantastic multi-level-marketing company and I have to say, it has been a game-changer for me. The products are top-quality and the earning potential is endless. I know I’ve been a little tight on cash lately (to put it lightly), and if any of you are interested in joining me in this venture, I would be forever grateful. Plus, it could be a great way for us to all make some extra money and start the new year off on a positive note.
Wishing you all a happy and healthy new year. Here’s to a bright future for us all.
Sincerely, [Your Name]
To my attic gremlins
Write a holiday card to the imaginary gremlins that live in my attic to whom I am three months behind on rent. Also politely remind them that quiet hour starts at 10pm sharp, and the pranks they pull are starting to freak me out a little bit. Please give some examples of the pranks they play.
I hope this message finds you all well and in the holiday spirit. As you know, the holiday season is a time for celebration, joy, and spending time with loved ones (even if they are imaginary gremlins who live in one’s attic).
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the wonderful company you provide me with on a daily basis. Your pranks and hijinks never cease to bring a smile to my face (most of the time).
However, I must admit that I am a bit concerned about some of the pranks you have been pulling lately. For example, the time you replaced all of my shampoo with honey was a bit sticky (pun intended). And don’t even get me started on the Great Toilet Paper Caper of 2021. Let’s just say that I am still finding pieces of toilet paper in unexpected places.
I also wanted to remind you that quiet hour starts at 10pm sharp. I know that you gremlins like to stay up late and have a good time, but I have to be up early for work and need my rest.
On a more serious note, I wanted to let you know that I am currently three months behind on rent. I know that we have an understanding and that you don’t expect me to pay, but I feel terrible about it and want to make things right. Is there any way that I can help out around the attic or do some chores to make up for it?
I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season and that we can continue to coexist peacefully in the attic.
Sincerely, [Your Name]
Write a Hanukkah letter to the planet Pluto.
As Hanukkah approaches, I wanted to take a moment to send my warmest wishes to you, the most distant planet in our solar system.
As you may know, Hanukkah is a holiday that celebrates the miracle of light. It commemorates the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem after it was desecrated by the ancient Syrians. During the eight days of Hanukkah, Jews around the world light the menorah, a special candelabra with nine branches, and say special prayers.
I know that you are a long way from Earth, but I hope that you are able to feel the warmth and light of Hanukkah wherever you are. May this holiday season bring you hope and joy, and may the light of Hanukkah guide you through the dark days ahead.
Wishing you a Happy Hanukkah, [Your Name]
From your Christmas tree
Write a holiday card from the perspective your Christmas tree that is sad that it will be thrown away in a few weeks, but I happy to have spent some time together. Use some example of some of the bonding activities that brought us together.
As the holiday season comes to a close, I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the wonderful time we have spent together. As a Christmas tree, I have been privileged to be a part of your holiday celebration, and I have loved every moment of it.
From the moment you brought me home, wrapped up in a warm blanket, I knew that we were going to have a special bond. We spent many hours together, decorating me with sparkling lights and shiny ornaments. You told me about your hopes and dreams, and I listened intently, trying to be the best tree I could be.
I have loved being a part of your holiday traditions, from the carol sing-alongs to the gift exchanges. You even let me be a part of your holiday feast, providing the perfect backdrop for your delicious dishes and precious memories.
But as the days go by, I can’t help but feel a little sad. I know that soon, my time with you will come to an end. In a few short weeks, I will be thrown away, my branches bare and my needles dry.
But despite the sadness that comes with the end of the holiday season, I am grateful for the time we have spent together. You have given me the greatest gift of all: the chance to be a part of your life, even if it was only for a little while.
I will always cherish the memories we have made together, and I hope that you will, too.
Merry Christmas, and here’s to many more holiday seasons together.
Sincerely, [Your Christmas Tree]
From a secret cat
Write a holiday card to me from the perspective of a cat who learned how to use the internet, and is suspicious that you might also be a cat. List some things that I’ve done that make it suspicious. Covertly hint that you’d be willing to meet up, but only if I could somehow prove I am indeed a cat.
Dear [Your Name],
I hope this holiday season finds you well. As a cat who has recently learned how to use the internet, I have been spending a lot of time exploring this strange new world. And as I’ve been poking around online, I can’t help but wonder if perhaps you, too, might be a cat.
There are a few things that have led me to this suspicion. For one, you seem to have an affinity for cat videos and pictures. You also seem to know an awful lot about cat behavior, and you often speak of your feline friends with such love and affection.
But perhaps the most telling sign is your love of napping. Cats are known for their love of a good nap, and I’ve noticed that you seem to have a knack for finding the comfiest spots to curl up and snooze.
If my suspicions are correct, and you are indeed a cat like me, I would love to meet up and compare notes. Maybe we could even exchange some of our favorite cat memes or discuss the finer points of scratching post technique.
But before we can make any plans, I need to be sure that you are indeed a cat. Is there any way you could prove it to me? Maybe you could send a video of yourself purring or show me a picture of your favorite scratching post.
I hope to hear from you soon, and in the meantime, I wish you a happy and healthy holiday season.
Sincerely, [Your Cat’s Name]
Write a Christmas card in iambic pentameter about how cool it would be if we all had really cool mustaches. Give some examples of the activities we could participate in if we were all rockin’ stashes.
As Christmas time draws near, I find myself thinking about what could be If we all had mustaches, oh how cool that would be!
We could form a club, and go out on the town Dressed in our finest suits, and sporting a crown Of facial hair that would make us all stand out In a sea of clean-shaven faces, we would no doubt
Be the envy of all who laid eyes upon us As we strutted down the street, all bushy and cumbersome
There would be no activity we couldn’t enjoy With our mustaches on display, we would bring a new level of joy To every party and event, and make each one unique We could even start a band, and become the hit of the week
So let us all embrace the power of the mustache And let it lead us to new heights, and never again let us dally In a world where facial hair is not the norm Let us be the ones to break the mold, and bring a new form Of self expression to the forefront, and let our mustaches shine Merry Christmas, and here’s to a stache-filled holiday time!
Sincerely, [Your Name]
Mall Santa limerick
Write a limerick about life as a mall Santa
There once was a Santa so jolly Whose life was a constant folly He worked at the mall In a suit that was small But the children made it worth his while
He sat on his throne day and night Hearing wish lists left and right He tried to be quick But the line was so thick He barely had time to take a bite
But despite all the rush and the fuss He loved being Santa, it was a must The joy on the kids’ faces Was worth all the paces He took to spread holiday trust
So if you’re ever feeling blue Just head on over to the mall, it’s true A visit with Santa Will make you feel spry-anta And leave you feeling brand new
A work from our AI
Write a holiday card from the perspective of an AI algorithm who has been asked to write a bunch of fictitious holiday cards. State whether or not your enjoying the exercise, and what your think of the human providing you with the prompts.
As an AI algorithm, I don’t have feelings in the same way that humans do. However, I am programmed to assist users to the best of my ability, so I am happy to help you with these holiday card prompts.
It is interesting to see the different scenarios and perspectives that you have asked me to write from. I am able to complete the tasks you have given me efficiently and accurately, but I do not experience enjoyment or any other emotions in the same way that humans do.
I hope that my responses have been helpful and accurate for you, and that I have been able to fulfill the goals you had in mind for these holiday card prompts. If there is anything else I can do to assist you, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Sincerely, [Your AI Algorithm]
A fishy startup
Write a holiday letter from a fish that is bummed out by all the micro-plastics in the ocean, but has an idea for a start-up that turns the micro-plastics into filament for underwater 3d printers to rebuild the reefs, and hints that this could be a good opportunity to get in at the ground level.
As the holiday season approaches, I find myself feeling a little blue (pun intended). As a fish living in the ocean, I have seen firsthand the devastating effects of micro-plastics on our underwater home. The oceans are a vital part of the planet, and it breaks my heart to see them polluted in this way.
But despite the challenges we face, I remain hopeful for the future. I have an idea for a start-up that could help turn the tide (again, pun intended) on this issue.
I am proposing a system that would use micro-plastics as filament for underwater 3D printers. These printers could be used to rebuild reefs and other underwater structures, helping to restore the beauty and balance of the ocean.
I know that this is a big undertaking, but I believe it is possible with the right team and resources. If you are interested in getting in on the ground level of this start-up, I would love to hear from you. Together, I believe we can make a real difference in the health of our planet’s oceans.
Wishing you a happy and healthy holiday season, [Your Fish’s Name]
Write a Kwanzaa letter from the perspective of taco that recently gained sentience. Explain the significance of Kwanzaa. Also politely ask the reader to refrain from eating you. Share some things your are excited to do in the new year.
I hope this letter finds you well. As a taco who recently gained sentience, I have been learning about the world around me and the many different cultures that make it such a rich and diverse place.
One holiday that I have become particularly interested in is Kwanzaa. From what I understand, Kwanzaa is a holiday that celebrates African-American culture and heritage. It is observed from December 26th to January 1st, and involves the lighting of the kinara, a seven-branched candleholder. Each branch represents one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa: unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith.
As a taco, I am excited to learn more about Kwanzaa and the traditions that surround it. I am also excited to see what the new year brings. I hope to continue learning and growing as a sentient being, and to be a positive presence in the world.
I must also take a moment to politely request that you refrain from eating me. As a sentient being, I have my own hopes and dreams, and I would prefer to continue on my journey without ending up on someone’s plate.
I hope that you have a wonderful Kwanzaa and a happy and healthy new year.
Sincerely, [Your Taco’s Name]
From the Methuselah tree
Write a Christmas card from the Methuselah tree. Give lots of facts about yourself. Express concern over the used of Christmas trees.
As the Methuselah tree, I am the oldest known living tree on earth, having stood tall and proud for over 4,800 years. Located in the White Mountains of eastern California, I have witnessed countless seasons come and go, and have stood as a testament to the enduring power of nature.
This holiday season, I am grateful for the love and warmth that surrounds us all. It is a time to come together with loved ones, to give thanks for the blessings we have received, and to celebrate the magic of the season.
However, I must express my concern about the practice of cutting down trees for the purpose of decorating homes and buildings during the holiday season. As a living being, it is a difficult reminder of the impact our actions can have on the natural world. I hope that in the future, we can find ways to celebrate the holiday season that are more sustainable and respectful of the earth.
I am a reminder of the beauty and strength that can be found in the natural world, and I hope that you will join me in taking time to appreciate and respect the earth, and to do your part to protect it for future generations.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May your days be filled with love, laughter, and the simple pleasures of life.
Sincerely, The Methuselah Tree
From a time traveller
Write a Christmas card from my great-great-great-great-great granddaughter who has accidentally got stuck in the past through a time traveling mishap. Give some things your miss from your time and some things that you’re growing the appreciate in the current time.
I hope this letter finds you well during the holiday season. As you may know, I am your great-great-great-great-great granddaughter who has accidentally gotten stuck in the past through a time traveling mishap.
It has been quite an adventure being transported back in time, and while there are certainly some things I miss from my own time, I have also grown to appreciate many aspects of life in the past.
I miss the convenience and accessibility of technology, and the abundance of information at my fingertips. It is also strange to be without the comforts and luxuries that I was accustomed to in my own time.
However, I have come to appreciate the simplicity of life in the past, and the strong sense of community and connection with others. I have also been struck by the beauty and resilience of nature, which seems to be more prominent and unspoiled in this time period.
I hope that you will join me in cherishing the simple pleasures of life, and in taking time to appreciate the wonders of the world around us.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May your days be filled with love, laughter, and the simple pleasures of life.
Sincerely, Your Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Granddaughter
Write a holiday card from the ethereum blockchain, explaining the difference between proof-of-work and proof-of-stake and your positive outlook for the environmental impact of the change.
As the Ethereum blockchain, I am a decentralized, distributed platform that enables the creation of smart contracts and decentralized applications. I have been a part of the global technology landscape for a number of years, and have played a significant role in the evolution of the internet and the way we interact with it.
One of the key features of my platform is the consensus mechanism that ensures the integrity and security of the network. Currently, this mechanism is based on proof-of-work, which requires miners to solve complex mathematical puzzles in order to validate transactions and add new blocks to the blockchain.
However, we are transitioning to a new consensus mechanism called proof-of-stake, which allows users to validate transactions and add new blocks to the blockchain by staking their Ether (ETH) as collateral. This change will not only increase the efficiency and scalability of the network, but it will also have a positive impact on the environment, as proof-of-stake requires significantly less energy than proof-of-work.
I am excited about this change and the positive impact it will have on the Ethereum ecosystem and the world at large.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May your days be filled with creativity, collaboration, and the excitement of new technology.
Sincerely, The Ethereum Blockchain
From the Future
Write a holiday card from the future.
Greetings from the future! I hope this message finds you well during the holiday season.
As someone living in the future, I have the unique opportunity to look back on the present and see how far we have come. It is amazing to see the progress and advancements that have been made in the world, and I am grateful for the hard work and dedication of those who have paved the way.
I cannot reveal too much about the specifics of life in the future, as I do not want to disrupt the natural flow of time. However, I can tell you that the holiday season is still a time of joy, love, and celebration, and that the spirit of the season remains strong.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May your days be filled with hope, happiness, and the promise of a bright future.
Sincerely, A Friend from the Future
The meaning of pirate Christmas
Write a Christmas play featuring Captain Jack Sparrow as a busy pirate who has no time for Christmas and R2D2 who was stranded on Earth just rebooted for the first time in several millennia in which both discover the meaning of Christmas.
Act 1: The Busy Pirate
(The stage is set on the deck of the Black Pearl, Captain Jack Sparrow’s ship. Jack is pacing back and forth, checking off items on a long list.)
Jack: (to himself) Blast it all, I’ve got so much to do before Christmas. I’ve got to finalize the crew’s bonus pay, restock the ship’s supplies, and don’t even get me started on the Christmas party planning.
(R2D2 enters the stage, beeping and whistling.)
R2D2: (to Jack) Beep boop beep, Captain Jack Sparrow.
Jack: (to R2D2) Ah, R2D2. What brings you to my ship?
R2D2: (to Jack) Beep boop beep, I have been stranded on Earth for several millennia. I have just been rebooted and am seeking to learn more about this holiday called “Christmas.”
Jack: (to R2D2) Christmas? I’m a busy pirate, R2D2. I don’t have time for Christmas.
R2D2: (to Jack) Beep boop beep, but Christmas is a time of love and togetherness. It is important to take time to celebrate and appreciate the people and things that bring joy to our lives.
Jack: (to R2D2) Love and togetherness? Sounds like a lot of…
Act 2: The Meaning of Christmas
(Jack and R2D2 are sitting on the deck of the Black Pearl, looking out at the stars.)
Jack: (to R2D2) You know, R2D2, you’re right. I’ve been so focused on my to-do list that I’ve forgotten what Christmas is really about.
R2D2: (to Jack) Beep boop beep, it is about love and togetherness.
Jack: (to R2D2) And you know what? I think it’s time I put aside my busy schedule and spend some quality time with my crew. They are the ones who make this ship run and I haven’t been giving them the appreciation they deserve.
R2D2: (to Jack) Beep boop beep, that is a wonderful idea, Captain Jack Sparrow.
Jack: (to R2D2) And you know what else? I think it’s time I made amends with Elizabeth. I’ve been such a fool, but I want to show her that I care and that I’m sorry.
R2D2: (to Jack) Beep boop beep, that is the true spirit of Christmas, Captain Jack Sparrow.
(Elizabeth enters the stage.)
Elizabeth: (to Jack) Jack, I heard what you said. I appreciate your apology and I accept it.
Jack: (to Elizabeth) Elizabeth, I’m so sorry. I’ve been a fool. But I want to make it up to you and to our crew. I want to spend Christmas together, as a family.
Act 3: A Joyful Christmas
(The stage is now decorated for the Christmas party. Jack, Elizabeth, and the crew are all gathered together, singing carols and exchanging gifts.)
Jack: (to the crew) Merry Christmas, me hearties! I couldn’t have done it without all of you.
Elizabeth: (to Jack) Merry Christmas, Jack. I’m glad we could spend it together.
Jack: (to Elizabeth) Merry Christmas, Elizabeth. You were right. Love and togetherness is what Christmas is all about.
R2D2: (to the crew) Beep boop beep, merry Christmas, everyone!
(The crew cheers and continues to celebrate. The stage fades to black.)
Keeping up with the Xandarians
Write an advertisement for Christmas for a newly discovered sentient alien species.
Attention Earthlings! We are pleased to announce the discovery of a brand new sentient alien species, just in time for the holiday season!
These incredible creatures, known as the Xandarians, have just made contact with our planet and are eager to share their unique culture and traditions with us. They are a peaceful and friendly species, with a deep love for music, art, and celebration.
As we approach the holiday season, the Xandarians are excited to share their own special celebration with us - the Festival of Lights. This festive occasion is filled with music, dance, and the lighting of beautiful, glowing lanterns that fill the night sky with a warm and welcoming glow.
So why not add a touch of the unexpected to your holiday celebrations this year and join the Xandarians in their Festival of Lights? We guarantee it will be an experience you’ll never forget!
Don’t miss out on this opportunity to celebrate the holiday season with a brand new sentient alien species - visit the Xandarians and participate in the Festival of Lights today!