There once was a man from Seattle
With servers he always did battle
He fought with his words
Instead of with swords
Then quit on his job to raise cattle.
dedicated to ~vilmibm

There once was a farmer of turtles
who overcame society's hurdles.
Like the uncertainty
of his LSC
and wearing of women's sized girdles.
dedicated to ~jumblesale

A programmer once tried to solicit
a language who's code was explicit.
The nouns and the verbs
were all naughty words
so laughter was all he'd elicit.
dedicated to ~paultag

There once was a young grad researcher
with a relationship he wanted to nurture.
He played with a laser
and thought it would daze her
but he ended up needing a suture.
dedicated to ~karlen

A tilde.town resident insom
thought himself charming and winsome.
Lauded as thus
and "the best of us"
got more than he bargained and then some.
dedicated to ~insom

Some townies not fond of cucumbers
had handles containing most numbers.
THey were hard to pronounce
caused the server to bounce
and ended up beaten with lumbers
dedicated to ~m455 and ~l0010o0001l