~lucidiot

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2017-09-17

mini-tulpas

Some times, when I'm outside (for example at school) and I need to ask someone for something, I will often get really scared. Most of the time I will just think I should not ask this because of how trivial this looks or how they can mock me for that. During those times, on the first occasion where I get a few minutes to be alone with myself, I tend to imagine myself actually asking the question to someone who could give me the answer, and I let them tell me the answer. Most of the time, those imaginary people will tell me the right answer. I feel like I am talking to a more rational part of myself, when I am getting overwhelmed with my fears.

A friend of mine described me about two years ago how he had a few people running around in his head, with their own consciousness, opinions, thoughts. They helped him go through bad moments, and I later learned that they are called Tulpas. Those little minions which you can't really control in your head are always present with you, and once they get developed enough, they can have a talk with you and help you with many things.

I like to think that the times where I ask questions in my mind and hear the rational answer are times where I have a small temporary tulpa. I wish I had enough time in my life to develop a true tulpa.