(set to "the mourning after" by mac miller)

you know,
i just want to do art

i just want to feel everything
without fuckin falling apart

i can't not be rude
it's not that i want to be
it's just that i don't know all the rules
i guess god didn't bless me

maybe that's why they say it all the time
because they can tell by looking at me
that i'm not blessed like them
that they can see something that i can't see

i used to think i couldn't write poetry and rhyme
but it was just that i wasn't being honest enough

i kept telling myself,
"it'll just take time"
"you haven't been through enough"

it seems to be the only time i process
that and painting
they open my mind
like the river and moses
but it's pronounced like moe-zess
yeah that was weak
im sorry
here's a a bunch of roses
but pronounces like row-ziss

lol

a clear path through
was simpler than i thought
it was to stop holding through the pain
so my own life doesn't get bought

by demons and money
and your own capacity
the real joy in life
is a bright morning
with toast covered in honey

the real values in life
are the emotions you allow yourself to capacitate
to guide your path forward
to help you navigate

you thought you knew love
until you lost everything
and then you realize
you need to love yourself
before you can begin anything

my life started a long time ago,
but it never began.
now i think i see gate 7
no i'm just kidding
i don't believe in lucky numbers
or god
or the fuckin heavens

and if they did exist
i wouldn't be ditching my friends ever again
i would go straight to hell
right straight with them

because they knew what love was
they always did
i was chasing something that didn't exist
i gave part of my self to the abyss

no more
something is no more
but there's still part of me here
and i'm still trying to figure out what i am
and how not to fear

honesty is the easy part,
and trust is the hard one
because when you lose a piece of you
that part of you is done

they have it
you can't get it back
all you can do is continue
without talking back

you just need to tough through the pain
that lurks at the bottom of your chest
when you realize over and over again
that what you did was your best

now
you're allowed
to be "you're too honest"