he light deemed my soul bottomless

i sit under it, barely eating the tasteless food in front of me

hallogen fills up my buckets, not with life, but with pain, that's contaminated
with exhaustion, until it ferments into panic, and the desire to flee

all that's left is my ears, and yet the light overflows into them, screaming
until the sound of people is no longer fathomable

i want to grab my wrist, i need the warm, i want to be squeezed, i want
everything off.

i want that friend who is considerate and caring. they somehow know what i need,
are they too?

the others, they think im picky, or that im over sensitive, or that im too
comfortable beint comfortable

fuck you, this has never been comfortable. any chance i get, i will take for
comfort, any second of feeling soothed, is worth the complaints of those who do
not know

sometimes i wish the world didnt scratch at my mind

sometimes i wish the world didnt see me as avoidant

i seek, i do not avoid,

but, also

i avoid