my thoughts eclipse each other.
my mind pushes and pulls in opposite directions,
held together by tattered rope.

shelter can work against me,
food can turn into turmoil,
and human connection,
what i crave more than anything,
depletes me.

i know what i want,
and what i need,
but i struggle to implement that.

what i see and hear,
conflicts with what i feel.

i couldn't see it before,
but now, the more i see,
the more i discover,
what drains and destroys me.

the first chain i broke with my arms,
but they are tired now.
now i need a bolt cutter,
but the store seems to only sell the single-use cutters.

to abolish the entities that hold me back.
to stand firm again mother nature,
when she's too hard on me
-- to remind her that im still just human,
and that im still learning to ascend.