(set to "winter nights" or "soft slumber" by calmly)

there isn't a manual
for when all control is lost
there are no oxygen masks
that dangle down when things get hard

it's when your sanity is driven by what is lost

that

is when it becomes insanity

your actions and words aren't you
it's you trying to get out
trying to tell you that it needs help
that it needs a break
that this is too much
but you can't tell them that

all you can do is scream
because you're so exhausted with explaining
over and over again
there's nothing harder
there's nothing more draining

you've been trying to figure out
how you can help yourself for months
and who can help you
and how they might help you

but you can't figure it out
and that's the only question they have
"how can we help you?"

i don't know!
that's why i'm here
how do i explain this so you can understand

how do i get what's in my head out
so others can help
so far i can't
there are few people in between
who can do this for me

i hope i can feel better some day
because this is really really hard
this isn't about me needing to do something for myself
this is about me needing to understand more about myself
because myself has been trying way too hard for way too long
and it's not sustainable