2026-03-19 8:34pm

(set to "Kiss Me More" by Doja Cat and SZA)

i feel like writing poetry
is like practicing honesty

like practicing
how to pour water out of a bowl gracefully

except the more you pour
the more corrided and intense the water comes out

it's a fuckin busted steam pipe
when it comes out

too hard too fast
if i were to describe the past

everythings broken
you're climbing skinny little pinocchio noses
that fell off

like little steps of a latter
that were
disintegrating away

like wooddust on a shelf
when someone walks by

or like how a shoe
can fall down
and hit
every
single
fuckin step

every fuckin thud
just there to fuckin laugh at you
like a pathetic little fuck (author's note: i'm dying laughing right now lmao)
whose gotta go
down
every
single
fuckin step

hooooooooooly shit
bud

but then when you start going down the stairs
it doesn't feel as bad as you had imagined

you did it
that was probably the most exhausting thing
that i have had to do
out of the things
i was
even able to fucking do

depression is a fuck
but it sure as hell writes really good fuckin poetry

does that make me full of myself?
i don't think so
i think i just like expressing how much i like things

it's probably too much for most people
but expressing my feelings to others
is one of my favourite things to do

and i have held on
way to fucking long
for those i love
to miss out on that (another author's note: this is where i started ballin' my eyes out)

i want life so badly
i want it so badly
i have been too far away from it for way to fucking long

it looks like one of those floating islands
from zelda: breath of the wild
and how fucking beautiful they look
during a video game's fuckin sunset

they did it,
they captured the emotion of a sunset in so many places
and that's one of the main reasons i love that game
and i don't care if that makes me sappy

cause i'm a BIG OL' sappy bitch

but let me tell you,
i'm almost certain i can't do relationships ever again

i can't put that much trust into someone ever again,
to trust that they cared about my well-being

also,
while we're at it
if i had listening stats that go way back then
which i don't unfortunately
my most listened-to song in the last several years
is probably "Kiss Me More" by Doja Cat and SZA
it's such an absolute fuckin banger

and now
that song is probably ruined
for someone
that's really unfortunate
that you heard it that many times
just like me
lol

i no longer guess
well that's a lie
because asking a question directly
can be so fucking scary
it can be the gambling of a friend
is how it feels a lot of the time
you either lose or don't lose a friend
if you say the wrong thing

but if i am truly your friend
you will know it
i will tell you
how much
i love you

you are up there with my kids
it's all family in the end

love you,
jesse

</end poem>