This morning they will announce to us on our television screens, our cinemas, our personal electronic devices that the nation will now be in motion. From the safety of our homes, say our radios, we must remain seated, and our seatbelts must furthermore be fastened whenever we are in our seats. Reaching under our sofa cushions and Osim massage chairs and little pink footstools we find bands of nylon and leather with metal clips on them that go around our waists. How marvelous for them to think of us this way! We are a prepared nation, they say. If we have any trouble we can rest assured that our stewardesses will take care of us, emerging from the places in our storerooms where they have always been. Admire their eagerness to serve; they are an agreeable and helpful people, aren't they?

Now they say we will have life vests, and we do: they are tucked under our seats, below the place where our seat belts came from, painted in red and white and full of many loud sounds and whistles, which we will only use in case of Emergency. It is a good thing there will be no emergencies when the nation is in taxi, takeoff, or landing. Healthy refreshments will be delivered to us soon. They will be made fresh in the kitchens by our stewardesses, who promise us a choice between chicken and pork. In the meantime please select from our variety of available television films. There will be, of course, no smoking.

(All smoking must be conducted in the yellow box on the portside of the left wing.)

When the nation is in taxi, takeoff, or landing all citizens must be buckled down. The windows must also be open because we are an outward-looking people who do not need to look at boring things. What we see will be very beautiful, unless it isn't, in which case we can thank our pilots for flying very quickly away from them. Yes, the passenger crew and stewardesses will be buckling down shortly. Yes, they have seats, we just can't see them from here. No, they don't really want to sit with us, anyway.

We wish that this flight be a harmonious and pleasant one.