Thank you for choosing SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD as your preferred patron deity of choice. Prior to receiving the full benefits of patronage by SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD, you must read, understand, and accept the following terms and conditions. These terms contain binding clauses (legally or otherwise) and a class action waiver which will affect your rights to resolve a dispute with SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD, and you should read them very carefully because SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD is a bird and has better eyesight than you.

1: SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD is to be provided with no less than one offering of bread each day. While Gardenia brand white bread is most economical, it is recommended that Sunshine brand banana walnut loaf be presented to secure favours from SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD, as well as ripe sliced banana. Failure to properly nourish exquisite palate of SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD will render patronisation agreement null and void.

2: Favours provided by SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD are plentiful. However, it must be acknowledged that SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD has fine mannerisms and works in subtle ways. Care must be taken in requesting favours from SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD. SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD may, upon initiation of status as your patron, engage in no more than five (5) acts of minor sabotage (making throat scratching noise, staring creepily from HDB rooftop, ominous cawing over enemies) or blessing (celebratory cawing over friends) every month. SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD will also allow one (1) indulgence every month where offerings are very good. Indulgences include but are not limited to: acts of vandalism, theft, and defecation on one's enemies. All indulgences are subject to SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD approval.

3: By choosing SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD as your patron deity, you will cease patronising any entities regarded as conflicting with interests of SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD. This current list includes DEAD DAKOTA AIRPLANE, PUNISHED NPARKS EMPLOYEE, and any local Punggol cat. You will not engage in future contracts or activities with these aforementioned entities, nor pet them, nor make little clicking noises at them, nor feed them with lovely bread intended for SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD.

4: Termination of patron account with SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD is to be undertaken on face-to-face basis. Apology is to be made bearing no fewer than ten (10) deep bows and five (5) loaves of Sunshine brand banana walnut loaf as severance package. Instructions is to place package in front of SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD and run very far away, preferably to place with sheltered roof. SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD is not liable for any damages caused by SENGKANG ROOFTOP PIGEON GOD.

Should the above not discourage you from pursuing services of the aforementioned patron deity, please tick the box below and press 'Continue'.