Unemployment Notes

Wed 8 Nov, 2017

Sun 3 Jul, 2016
All my days are lost behind a luminescent screen, or in some boring book. My summer house is full of death. I am assisting a baby pigeon fallen from his nest. My life is mirrored in his life. He stopped walking, food doesn’t feed him. What does really feed us? His eyes are closed. Going nowhere, slow.

Thu 30 Jun, 2016
I am evil.

Mon 28 Jun, 2016
Sometimes philosophy is better than Prozac. After I left my PhD, I started reading avidly—in my little room and at the Luxembourg Park—a book about the philosophy of Ortega y Gasset. Why did I choose to read about the Spanish philosopher? Well, I didn’t choose. It just happened. I can’t recollect why I bought a book about his philosophy, and I like to think it was just serendipity and “elective affinities.” Reading and studying that book was almost cathartic. According to him, the human nature is to be crippled: humans, unlike animals, they are chronically unfit for any kind of situation and environment. We are in a state of constant handicap. Darwinism failed us. That’s our misery, and at the same time, our greatness: it encourages us to constantly reinvent ourselves. We do not fit. That’s the kind of words I needed. :)

Mon 27 Jun, 2016
Yesterday morning I had a strange experience. I was reading an article about Italian labor laws. Nothing sexy or exciting. At one point, all the words I was reading started to impress me, to oppress me, they felt heavy... I got physically uncomfortable with language. Syntax, words, and the alphabet suddenly become something that my mind couldn’t handle anymore, something big and potentially harmful. “Words aren’t my thing,” I thought. I felt that language was leaving me. It was strange.

Sun 26 Jun, 2016
After I left my PhD, nothing happened. Leaving the PhD was an interesting experience though. I never felt so loved and wanted in my life. I think I can get addicted to that feeling. From now on, leaving will be my permanent occupation.

Sun 26 Jun, 2016
One two one two, this is just a test
One two one two, this is just a test
One two one two, this is just a test