Okay so i forgot to record anything for a while....
Life's been mostly fine ig, not rlly much going on, been a little bit depressed but that's normal..
Uni starting back again soon so at least I'll have my distraction <3
Need to do well this year, as its all i have left im afraid
God i am really horrible at remembering to make new entries....
Well, not really much to say tbh, finally got to hang out with my friends after like a month the other day lmao, the party was good but I kinda had a mental breakdown before and had another one the next morning.... Needless to say I'm alive but still a bit bgh... Still not really sure of my place in everything at this point, I feel like so much has changed that I don't really belong anymore but I don't know..
He doesn't deserve to deal with me, he deserves so much better..
Oops, forgot to write stuff in here for a while lmao
After almost drinking myself to death last week I got quite sick and spent a few days doing basically nothing but watching youtube...
I kinda thought I was better but i'm not really sure at this point, I still feel like a burden to the people around me and I'm honestly not sure how I'm supposed to go back to just hanging out with them after a month of nothing... I know it's shitty for me to be a bit annoyed about this but idk.. Things are slowly falling apart and I can see it happen but I can't really do anything to stop it, i miss my friends...
But yeah, this month sucks and I wish it was over tbh, I wish uni was back already so I didn't have to worry about all of this stuff..
I don't think anybody would miss me if i was gone..
its been a couple days afain, srry aboit that
super super drujk rn
its been a vad couple days, fewling worthless and like a burden, had to be drunk to msg best frjend i think tbings r gonna ejd soon, idk, i feek worthless
i also lost my like 1 month no sh streak.... i hoow these cuts dont scar...
Oops, forgot to record yesterdays...
Not much happened tho, just more painting and then more sitting in my room staring at the wall and rotting..
I got rlly high and listened to shoegaze until 2am if that counts, was alright..
Things have been feeling a lot more lonely and isolated recently tho, thankfully seeing a friend again soon so should hopefully cure me for a while.
Sucks that most of my friends are busy moving so i can't rlly message them....
Anyway today is going fine, more programming and shit, not rlly sure what else there is to do but we cringe on :3
I completely forgot to like write stuff for the last few days... oops
Not that they've been very interesting tho, it's been a pretty depressing time, haven't rlly interacted with friends in a while so rotting and dying <3
idk, feeling bad and worthless again, idk anymore
I did more painting today, not rlly much else to do ig idk :P
Feeling isolated as of late, haven't hung out with friends in a while...
Things are feeling... weird... i'm not rlly sure something just feels off...
idk, fine day tho <3
Another day has passed...
Did a bit of house painting today, i enjoy it as it's a job that doesn't really require me to be present I can just kinda disassociate and do the job while i'm gone <3
Not much else to say rlly, lil bit high rn but we cringe on <3
I finally joined tilde.town today
I've had the invite email sitting in my inbox for about a week and a bit now
I applied months ago and never expected to be accepted.
I was considering not joining but finally decided why not, hope this place will be good for me.
Things are feeling weird rn..