bi- pride flag
I wore the label bisexual for a whole couple
decades, despite having some reservations about it:
Does it oppressively adhere to a false gender binary? Does it exclude the nonbinary or transgender?
Am I queer enough to call myself that?
Maybe I’m “technically heterosexual” and just less homophobic than my culture deems appropriate?
But, it served me well enough to repel (or draw out) haters without being too obscure for average people to figure out.
Those concerns, by the way, were unfounded: In practice, most treat “bi-” in terms of “both same and different genders,” not “exactly two genders.” These labels indicate orientation, not a catalog of experience. And the last concern was just silly after further reflection.
pan- pride flag
Later, I learned of the term pansexual
which felt explicitly more inclusive but still not entirely accurate for
me:
… indicates attraction regardless, or with little regard to gender, or attraction where gender isn’t a substantial factor.
That’s not me; I do experience different flavors of attraction toward the masculine and the feminine. So, I wobbily continued to use bi-.
More recently, I learned of omnisexual: I knew of “omni-” from a previous visit to
Wikipedia but it was unclear there, at the time, how it was distinct
from “pan-” or “bi-”. The definitions at pronoun.page feel clear and
concise.
omni- pride flag
attraction towards all genders with gender as a factor; the attraction may be different in regards to different genders
Despite being less widely-understood, that fits and avoids any (real or invented) ambiguity about transmisia or a false gender binary. 👍
Bi- is still a useful umbrella term for people who haven’t heard omni- before, but of the available options omni- feels most accurate for me.
It’s not really important that anyone be informed of this.
I may as well be aro/ace
as far as you and I are concerned.
This quells the intrusive thought “why have all
these silly obscure labels and flags anyway?” The answer is: because,
now that I found one that fits well, I no longer feel the impulse to
post up a giant navel-gazing essay about the subject.
But it did take a great deal of time and thought to
arrive where I have. This used to be a whole long-winded multi-part
essay, about trying to find a label I could wear with pride and without
misinterpretation.
Well. There it is, I found it, and this page is shorter now. Hooray. 🎉