hello and thank you again for reading this stuff no matter who are you: a stranger, a townie, maybe i did something bad for you - sorry! Maybe its read by some machine so why not - hello! erm.. but i guess its not so cool if you use this text without asking? anyway i cant do anything. also my english can be not so cool to teach some models? Even if you are OSINT user that want to take as much info about me as you can - hello! hiii. Everyone. And have a good time.
I am a 1?y student from Russia. Learning for system administration, controlling systems - overall i want to work with networks. The Internet is one of them! So i could cry about how bad the blocking here and etc, but i guess u already know it :p
Maybe exactly them made me more interested in networking.
My successes in that not so cool: i know about existing a lot of things, but absolutely not able to use them. Just because of not knowing the purposes. Despite it i still try to find something new every day! I hate myself, when i realise how much time i spend playing games and watching twitch or etc. I try to be everywhere and everything, so therefore its right that i cant keep up with it, but i still try. There is no choice? Anyway i dont see a problem there. Its like a balance and even freedom you know? If you've done nothing for today, you just hate yourself and try to do more tomorrow? And another + is that you have no hate for others in some occassions Other problem is the hate inflation...
Erm, as you see im pretty thinkful person - i litereally made myself to survive the huge overthinking storm in 2025 using a diary in Obsidian. I love Obsidian and dont like it in the same time. Its like Linux - you can configure everything, but you have to do it. Yeah its cool to write exactly the information in a moment. then you see you have to systemise it... I love design! Obsidian has A HUGE opportunities to customise your work. But i really cant stand chromium that bases simply E V E R Y T H I N G. It was pretty slow you know? it distracts you everytime you see you letter isnt seen right after you tap the button on your keyboard. Now i stopped diary. I return to it just to calm down myself. I cleared all plugins and now its just a spending time for respect to Obsidian. Just writing a flow of minds and then never reading it. Sometimes i will read it. All i can add now is that it would be cool if people would find it when i will disappear. The worst thing for me is being forgotten. Having no a remember about your existing.
! Thats the fact nothing can keep information forever.
Okay lets go back. I also like Blender. Or used to like? i didnt opened it for serious for a year but i still remember how cool it was to make some renders! Not so they were mastered with cool polygons and quality textures and materials, but they made me to find references? made me more happy? idk. it was just cool to do something like it with music. Now i see it as an instrument - not a way to enjoy yourself. Its a painful situation - never achive it :O Idk really how to escape it
For me, tilde.town is a cool place to find interesting person. I did know it while the late.sh didnt work with somehow reason. And how was i impressed when i had found that something like town was existing! Now i think i lied when said i would like to make fun here because i cant even find information to share it here. Anyway i still have a lot of ideas to make something cool. And at least i started with this silly info. cool? I havent talked with guys here. I just read chat in random time. I like the way this server is done and used. But as usual i cant keep up just to use it :(
Why exactly tilde? I did the same thing in discord, then in IRC servers, then in some forums... Ive never shared about myself. I do know people have some image of *me* But what this imagine does really include? I cant answer. I cant answer even what image of myself i have. I just know writing things like it can help to make this image more correctly.
It sounds silly to make it another place to write texts about some events or situations. I do think about what i can share here.
At least i know what i dont want to get at the end - a diary that ends. In worst case i will just share my mind. Its very sad to read story that ends! I dont know how people live when they know nothing is eternal. I want to make a huge list of badges with links to cool things. There are only 3 badges. 2 of them was made by me and i really try not to hate it. Im bad in any type of activity and i do only small steps if i do them at all! The best would be to see my homepage as starting tab for browser 0_o
Also i like that its literally public place so i cant write the way i wrote for myself. At least i hope nobody will be hurted by words i write here? I really care about it because hurting other people sounds just awful! I would like to hurt myself than see someone suffer. On the other hand im just small coward. For me creating in the emptiness is only way to live in internet. I very seldom comment, almost not chatting. I mean if my head is so chaotic - how can i add others chaos to my mind? And more scary - to add my chaos to others minds? Please if we talked irl with you more than 4 times - try to pretend you never see these texts. I will never be able to explain myself.
Oh yeah - here is other story. You read by your choice idk why you do read this noise in the Net.
I even cant understand if i write it for myself or even why. Anyway i will try make my ~page cute and cozy? of course making html pages not so cool thing now... but its not so hard and i write things like it from time to time anyway. Also i hope it will rock me to make only more+cool!