30 april 2019
All of the exams are written. Now it is all I can do to wait. I pray that I have taught them well. The world is before them. Will they ever be the same?
27 april 2019
It's the end of the semester! Of course that means I don't have any more lectures to prepare, but I am beset by stressed students from all sides.
One way or another it will all be done on Wednesday. Now back to grading!
18 april 2019
Radio Hack
I did a little circuit bending tonight. I have this little am/fm/shortwave radio from RadioShack that uses a telescoping antenna for fm and sw. This means I cannot listen to these bands with the radio in my pocket. So I added a wire from the ground pin of the headphone jack to the antenna lead. Now my headphones act as an antenna. Even better, if I listen with both headphones and an extended antenna, I can get slightly better reception on weak stations.
For the shortwave band, extending both antenna and headphones in opposite directions forms a sort of dipole. I can hear stations I have never heard on my handheld unit! For instance, I listened to the Voice of Vietnam, which I very rarely receieve without a long wire antenna!
16 april 2019
Who needs sleep?
Today was tough. Inspite of a realxed weekend, I just simply could not sleep at all last night. I wound up getting out of bed at 1AM and writing some code to prep for my OS classes.
Lecturing while in a haze is no fun. At least exhaustion will help me sleep tonight (I hope).
15 april 2019
Time Away
So this weekend, I have done something I have not done in a long time. I took time away from my job! Normally weekends are filled with lesson plans and grading with a smattering of research. I decided that maybe part of my problem is that I am wrapping too much of my identity in my work. So this weekend, I hiked and went to church and did little else.
Today's service was a lovely kickoff for holy week. I am looking forward to observing the week by taking time out to read the gospels and buy lots of candy for my kids to enjoy this Sunday. Tending to a little of my spiritual needs may help me feel less out of place. Or at the very least, it may help me to not care so much!
On the topic of tilde.town, which I am continuing to explore, I have to say that I love the botany program! I especially like the bbj thread that I saw where people were watering each other's virtual plants while they were away. What a remarkably human place this is! Even though I have thus far conversed with relatively few of you, I somehow feel very connected to this place.
SDF seems to be all about computer. tilde.town is all about humans!
14 april 2019
Hiking Soothes My Soul
Today, I am doing much better. I spent most of the day hiking with my little girl in the Great Smoky Mountains. We hiked to Grotto Falls. Normally, this would be a nice short hike, but today the road that led to the trailhead was closed. Ruth opted to hike the additional two miles each way so we could still see the waterfall. We had a great time, and it really calmed me down.
I am exhausted but relaxed. Here's hoping the feeling lasts!
13 april 2019
Fitting In
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find somewhere I truly fit. I have come close on many occasions. In fact, I thought I had even found my final job. I am a tenure track professor, and I'm near the end of that process. Soon I will be an associate, but I think the college I am at is not what I thought it was.
This has happened so many times before. I find a place, it feels like home, and then it all goes wrong. Maybe the problem is me, maybe I just ask too much of everyone around me. Really the only place where I feel comfortable in my own skin is when I am online and coding. I am not sure what that says about me, but it's probably not bad.
Otherwise I have a very nice life. A wife, loving kids, just never enough money to go around. That's part of the problem; my PhD was ridiculously expensive compared to what the college I am pays. I know it is probably time to move on. Both my vision of academia and my financial needs demand it. Still, I don't know if I have it in me to simply pick up once more and find another place that will be home for a short while.
My First Post
So this is my first post on feels. I had thought about making it a little intro, but I ultimately thought I would try to empty myself a little. All of the blog posts I have read here on tilde.town have all been so personal and open. I thought I would try my hand at honest public disclosure.
I promise to not be maudlin all the time!