After a given time we will die and be dust again. For all we know it could be tomorrow the end of our expiring date.
That can be a good argument for living life at it's fullest. But also is a testament to our fragility in this world. Our lives and the lives of our loved ones are ephemeral. We can be be taken away in the blink of an eye.
One can affirm that anxiety is a natural response to all of that and would not be wrong.
Last days feels like the same day on repeat. I wake up, eat, work and then i go to sleep. Studying is getting better bat still hard.
Starting a research is good, but the material given by my professor is a bit hard to comprehend with my current knowledge. But oh boy i still ned to write a draft about this stuff.
Sometimes i wander if academic life is a thing for me. I hope it is.
Man i hate living in the hellhole that is a third world country. Because our stupid president haven't bought the vaccines earlier this fucking pandemic will last at least until 2021.
I haven't been logging much into the town because of the ton of academic work that i am having. But at least is something to get my mind of bad things i guess. But still boi, multivariable calculus if fucking hard, and this fucking professor is not teaching any actual class. I can still learn from the material, but that demands double the time the presential version would.
I think things will get better eventually. EVENTUALLY!
Uni has started 2 weeks ago and is already crushing me. Although it was not unexpected, i still was caught by surprise. But let it be. Futurely things will get better. If i put more effort i guess.
A mask that does not represent me. A piece of clothing that i am obliged to use. That skin of mine that i wish to torn apart. Time will come when this will burn.
Someone take me out of this cage please. I hate this.
These times are nonetheless nonsensical. But alas, i am here after all. Even when my soul is foggy and i can't reach myself amidst these places, in the end i will eventually find myself. That is the important thing.
Even if he hold space in my brain, as long as i can focus on what is important that darkness won't turn on me again. Blessed be that peace.
Days have been passing by. It all just blend together after some point. Soon uni will start again, that's good i guess. Will help me get my mind out of home for some time.
I plan on getting away from home soon. Is weird isn't it? To hesitate in this. Guess i do like these people here, even when i need to get away from them for some time.