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My brain moves very fast, apparently. Super fast. I used to think I was anxious, but if I was, it wasn't physical at all. No increased heartrate or panic. Just racing thoughts. It gets so bad that I picked up coping mechanisms growing up to clear my mind almost every day. Nowadays I use weed to do it sometimes. When my coffee wears off, I almost can't function! APPAARRENNTTLLYYY my sibling and therapist and psychiatrist were right in that I *probably* have ADHD. Who knew. Anyway that's old news. The new news is that I realized why grounding exercises piss me off so much. They don't calm me down because my body is already calm--instead I have constant racing thoughts and emotions. So instead of grounding exercises giving me mental space, they just AGGRAVATE me It's like pulling the handbrake while the gas pedal is stuck to the floor. It don't work and it's actually more dysregulating than staring at my phone. Same reason I can't get into exercising! It pulls me into the moment and makes me focus on my body, meanwhile my brain is still racing. It's like flying down the road at 100MPH, one hand on the wheel and one hand solving a rubik's cube while someone (my body) yelling at me from the backseat "god I'm sweaty and gross" "ow my legs hurt" "am i going too hard?" "i should do more i can do more". It's just TOO MUCH. Gooooood to know this. Very good to know.