----- ----- --- ~ ---O--- ~ --- ----- ----- Use wasd, or hjkl, or arrows to steer me! 2019-02-08 $ ls /home/*/.efingerd Finger cheating ~ 2019-01-24 $ finger walfisch@tilde.town Hurra vilmibm ~ 2018-11-28 Farewell ~abraxas! ~ 2018-04-06 Unix reading $ apropos apropos $ apropos man $ apropos whatis $ apropos whereis $ man apropos $ man man $ man whatis $ man whereis $ whatis apropos $ whatis man $ whatis whatis $ whatis whereis $ whereis apropos $ whereis man $ whereis whatis $ whereis whereis I am a member of the tilde.town ~ring. Join! Or visit a random ~user! Thank you, dan and um and eeeeeta and login The ring you see, are the members of the ring. If you miss someone, try refreshing: only 100 are chosen, randomly. _____________________________________________________________ | | | Ooohhhh, another one of these tasty little airplanes... | |___________________________________________ ________________| \| | _ / \ _ -- \ \ _____ _~~~ /\ / \_/ > _/ ___ \ // | \ __--/ | | > / / \ \_// | \__/ _ \_o_/ > / \__/ __ \_ ___/ ___ \__ / > \_/__/ _ /_~_\ ___ \ / / / _/ | ___ | \ \ / ( __/ / / | \ /\ \ \ \__/ / /____/ / / \ | \_ \ \___-- / \ \ \ \ \ / __| \ \ \ | / / \ \ | | | | \ \ / | / / \ | | / / / \ \ \/ | /_/ Possibly the most unbelievable thing about Star Trek is how different alien civilizations maintain cross-compatible video calling software. -- Dave W-F If your elevator is in freefall, do you bend your legs, hold them straight, or lay flat to distribute the force? I need an answer quickly! -- Ron Gilbert Pickin my dad up from Dadcare me: come on dad dad: no I want to play w the other dads me: Im in a hurry all dads: HI IN A HURRY me: damn it -- spacegirl incognito Every device that has blinky lights should have hardware switch that turns them off -- Liza Daly *I stare into the abyss* *the abyss stares into me* *I lean in for a kiss* Abyss: Woah, no. I'm sorry. You totally misjudged this. -- Sarah Jones "Genie, make me beautiful." "Done." "I look the same." "You are beautiful. To me." "Then make society think so too!" "I... will need time." -- Micro SF/F stories Picard strategy tip: The enemy of my enemy is sometimes a dangerous sociopath. -- Picard Tips Travel tip: when visiting Europe, don't miss the unspoiled grandeur of EU cookie policy notifications -- Liza Daly Picard management tip: Standard procedures are just suggestions. -- Picard Tips “Employees who sign noncompetes are typically paid more at the outset,” said person making stuff up. -- Liza Daly Picard management tip: The crew needs to see you calm. If you're frustrated, complain to a confidante in private, then make a decision. -- Picard Tips #QTips Perform frequent reality checks by reciting the phrase; Computer, end program. -- Q It would seem unlikely that everyone on this Amtrak train was raised by wolves, but their bathroom hygiene suggests no alternative -- Liza Daly I told my dentist I worked in games. He replied "I HATE VIDEOGAMES" I didn't have the heart to tell him I wasn't too keen on dentists either -- Grant Duncan Many of the people I follow not because I'm interested in what they say, but because I feel the need to keep an eye on them. -- Ron Gilbert GROWING ARTISTS: Everything we want to do in life is usually on the other side of fear. But try not to let fear stop you; Just do it scared. -- LeSean Thomas started from the bottom and i am currently still at the bottom -- tina How to train your dragon @GallicaBnF, NAF 15942, 14th c. -- Damien Kempf i wish laying in bed all day made me rich -- tina party at my house bring food then leave -- tina I'm bad at similes like a fox. -- Tim Siedell Happy "Hey, The Microwave Clock Is Correct Again" Day. -- Tim Siedell Picard management tip: It takes hard work to become a master at single-tasking. -- Picard Tips One cool way to end a meeting is to stand up, declare that you have a surprise for everybody, excuse yourself, then go home. -- Tim Siedell Security personnel, The "shruggie" symbol is not an appropriate response to a security issue. Worf -- Worf Email Picard management tip: For each command, assign it to one person, or ask for a volunteer. Don't ask a crowd to take an action. -- Picard Tips Picard sleeping tip: Before bed, sit in a quiet room and read from a book. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: Ignore rules that make no sense. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: Tolerate failure, not incompetence. Learn the difference. -- Picard Tips Picard programming tip: The first version of any software will be buggy. That's why so many holodeck programs try to kill you. -- Picard Tips Time for my 1st day! 1) Write TODO list 0) Write TODO app for list -1) Write JS framework for app -2) Write DSL that transpiles to JS. -3) -- Liza Daly Picard management tip: If you lose one crew member, mourn appropriately. If the whole ship explodes, don't worry; time travel will fix it. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: Hire aliens. It's no big deal. -- Picard Tips Picard career tip: Stand out in a crowd. When there is a power vacuum, take command. -- Picard Tips I'm going to start A machine in my heart That forges the yelling of men Into art -- Vi Hart Afd bei10%. Was uns diese 8 Millionen Menschen, deren Lebensbild nicht zu unserer Gesellschaft passt, an Integrationsarbeit kosten... -- schlenzalot Picard management tip: When you hear yourself start to raise your voice, stop, take a breath, smile, then speak politely. -- Picard Tips Geordi, Is it possible to add my name to the ship's autocorrect dictionary? I am weary of receiving messages addressed to "Word." Worf -- Worf Email "Magst nen Kaffee?" – "Lustig, wie du 'Bier' aussprichst." -- Torsten Gräßler Picard management tip: Be willing to laugh at yourself, but unwilling to laugh at your coworkers. -- Picard Tips Picard cosmology tip: Six sevenths of all matter is undetectable, so stop thinking you know so much. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: Don't negotiate absurd schedules with engineers. Encourage truth telling and reasonable time estimates. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: Suppress your inner alarm. Be the calmest person in the room. -- Picard Tips Eating is a fun way to pass the time between meals. -- Tim Siedell "Soll ich ein Weihnachtslied singen?" – Drohkulissen aufbauen. Kann ich. -- Torsten Gräßler If my mopey son becomes a dark lord I'd convert to the dark side, too. Then he'd switch back because it's not cool anymore. #Parenting101 -- Tim Siedell What does stormtrooper armor protect against, exactly? Knives? -- Tim Siedell Picard management tip: No good ever comes from checking your first officer's search history. -- Picard Tips Anything can be part of a well-balanced breakfast if you eat it with a well-balanced breakfast. -- Tim Siedell It's called cannibalism, not can'tnibalism. -- Your Life Coaches wow, do not order the Molotov cocktail -- friendly boy Achievement unlocked: house smells like apple cake. -- Liza Daly Geordi, Thank you. My email appears to be working again. I have cancelled yellow alert. Worf -- Worf Email My glasses promise a personality I can't possibly deliver. -- Julius Sharpe I’m just saying dissecting ET could have lead to many amazing advancements in medicine and saved untold lives. -- Zack Rosenblatt don’t worry password, im insecure too -- tina Developer Accused Of Unreadable Code Refuses To Comment -- Hacker News Onion I’m watching one of our chickens, thinking “chickens sure have boring lives,” when I remember I’m standing here watching a chicken. -- Rob Napier an interviewer once asked if i had any hidden talents & i said "googling things before asking people for simple info" & i didn't get the job -- echo & the bunnyjenn Wall lined with books, more books coming. I must construct a tiny book fort out of my books and read my books from inside of it -- Vi Hart The only common thread between all of your failed deployments is you. -- Shade as a Service Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster. -- Joseph Scrimshaw The last twenty years building the web no-one asked for in two wireframes -- Russell Garner if loving pie is wrong, then i don't want to be right -- tilde town “I say we just grow up, be adults, and die.” -- Liza Daly “Waiter, how can you serve 12oz and 16oz prime rib? Clearly they should be 13oz and 17oz to be classified as primes.” *my date leaves* -- Chris Hallbeck Geordi could totally sleep through the more boring senior staff meetings and no one would know. -- Stay At Home Meme One week till Christmas! http://wolfr.am/Y97DQU #ThursdayCurve -- Wolfram Fun Facts The little-known fourth major monotheistic religion... -- Nasri Atallah This is Margaret Hamilton, NASA lead software engineer, and this is the Apollo guidance program she wrote. -- JD we want a kinder web world -- tilde town My life has improved measurably since I started doing Inspect Element → Delete on large persistent headers/footers while reading. -- Liza Daly "He died doing what he loved; taking a selfie while pretending to fall off a cliff." -- Tim Siedell Nice try, Clooney "wedding." I know a casino heist when I see one. -- Tim Siedell I always feel naked when I leave the house without my phone or clothes. -- Matthew Baldwin “Click here for next page, which my dyslexia reads as ‘Close this tab and go to another website’” - @daringfireball #xoxofest -- Jeffery and 7 others The watch that says "I'm carrying an expensive phone full of credit card info so start thinking now where you're going to dump my body." -- Tim Siedell The sky above the port was the color of hyperlinks -- Katherine Ye How to tell a Romulan from a Vulcan. -- Troi Googling I remember when a hacker was someone who murdered people by chopping them into tiny pieces. A simpler, more innocent time. -- Tim Siedell Let's simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call. -- Tim Siedell “your password must contain one uppercase letter, one number, one emoji, one everything bagel, and a crippling impotent feeling of rage” -- laura lemay I play Motown while I cook so I can imagine I’m a quirky single girl in a romcom & then my husband walks in & kisses me & ruins everything -- Liza Daly I'm a social drinker. In other words, I don't drink. -- Tim Siedell I sleep with an even bigger pillow under my pillow in case someone breaks into the house to start a pillow fight. -- Tim Siedell For my epitaph: “Takes her gin and beer with laudanum and her men as they come.” -- Liza Daly Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting. -- Tim Siedell Two headlines I just read: "Microsoft to cut 18,000 jobs." "Israeli army requests 18,000 reserves." GUYS, I HAVE AN IDEA. -- Tim Siedell Eliminate hyperbole or die trying. -- Tim Siedell How to Identify that Light in the Sky: http://apod.it/140609 -- Astro Pic Of The Day Stop burying acorns, squirrels. Can't you see oak trees are using you? -- Tim Siedell How does the captain decide what warp factor to pick in non-emergency situations? -- Troi Googling SPECIFICALLY ORDERED HALF PEPPERONI HALF MUSHROOM BUT THESE PEPPERONIS AND MUSHROOMS ARE NORMAL SIZE -- Tim Siedell Put "Never wore a fedora" on my tombstone. -- Tim Siedell Habe ein Drehbuch gelesen. Nun ist mir schwindelig. -- Haus Ohne Fenster Yes, you'd think for an omnipotent being I'd be able to get a twitter handle with only one underscore, but really I just like underscores. -- Q Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't -- Ricky Gervais Hipster Jedi doesn't think that disturbance in the force was so great -- Jacob Harris Sorry I couldn't make it to your wedding but I went online that morning and boy oh boy did I run into a tough CAPTCHA code. -- Tim Siedell So my creative process is basically 1. have uninteresting idea 2. run with it 3. run, run, faster! 4. IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU 5. RUUUUUUUUUNNN -- Vi Hart Stop complaining about the weather. My weather is great, but I've worked hard and earned this temperature. You're just being lazy. -- Greg Knauss If I had to sum up my mathematical abilities with one word, it would be "not very good at all". -- Brent Butt By the time he was my age, Lee Harvey Oswald had already shot a PRESIDENT. i haven't even shot a normal person -- Megan Amram Hello darkness, my old friend. <confirms Facebook friend request> -- Tim Siedell I won't be shaving this November in order to raise awareness for how lazy I am. -- Tim Siedell I like how Dracula wore a bow tie. Didn't need to. Did so anyway, even without the help of a mirror. That's class. -- Tim Siedell seo expert walks into a bar bars tavern alehouse pub public house alcohol beer liquor whiskey -- chris I wear glasses because I like to dramatically remove them to display anger. It was awkward doing that with contact lenses. -- Tim Siedell Mutter sagt: "Ich friere es nur ein, für nächste Woche Sonntag". Aber ich weiß ganz genau, was sie anstrebt: Vorratsbratenspeicherung. -- Oberkelln0r "He died doing what he loved, which was clinging to life and trying not to die, which he was very good at until recently." -- Tim Siedell Den ganzen Tag debil grinsen und mit uralten 140 Zeichen Sprüchen klugscheißen. Pfarrer müsste man sein. -- Johnni Danger "Die Option Winterschlaf ist für deine Spezies leider nicht verfügbar." Da spricht man mal mit Gott und dann zickt er rum wie Sony. -- schlenzalot I'm having trouble with AJAX responses being cut off in the middle. Might ha -- Gero Takke The price of purity is purists. -- Calvin Trillin Program testing can be used to show the presence of bugs, but never to show their absence. -- Edsger Dijkstra More computing sins are committed in the name of efficiency (without necessarily achieving it) than for any other single reason - including blind stupidity. -- William Wulf Never send a human to do a machine's job. -- Agent Smith Saying that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don’t care about freedom of speech because you have nothing to say. -- Edward Snowden Ein richtiger Steuermann fährt mit zerrissenem Segel, und wenn er die Takelage verloren hat, zwingt er dennoch den entmasteten Rumpf des Schiffes an den Kurs. A great pilot can sail even when his canvas is rent; if his ship be dismantled, he can yet put in trim what remains of her hull and hold her to her course. Magnus gubernator et scisso navigat velo et, si exarmavit, tamen reliquias navigii aptat ad cursum. -- Seneca Die Asche macht alle gleich. Ashes levels everyone. Aequat omnis cinis. -- Seneca Ein Verbrechen muss durch ein Verbrechen vertuscht werden. Scelere velandum est scelus. -- Seneca Nirgendwo ist der, der überall ist. Who is everywhere is nowhere. Nusquam est qui ubique est. -- Seneca Nicht weil es schwierig ist, wagen wir es nicht, sondern weil wir es nicht wagen, ist es schwierig. Non quia difficilia sunt non audemus, sed quia non audemus difficilia sunt. -- Seneca Wenn man nicht weiß, welchen Hafen man ansteuert, ist kein Wind günstig. When you do not know what harbour you are making for, no wind is the right wind. Ignoranti quem portum petat nullus suus ventus est. -- Seneca Je heller das Feuer scheint, desto leichter ist es gelöscht. Tbe brighter a fire has glowed, the more rapidly it is extinguished. Ignis quo clarior fulsit, citius extinguitur. -- Seneca It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it. -- Upton Sinclair jquery is gonna kill react and webpack -- jenn Vampires are bad at project management because they are afraid of stakeholders -- Jacob Harris Picard management tip: If people accuse your organization of endangering people who wear red shirts, put on a damn red shirt every day. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: Don't be afraid to use imperative verbs. They're called orders for a reason. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: Withhold advice on matters you do not understand. -- Picard Tips Picard management tip: During a large-scale, life-threatening emergency, postpone all other priorities and focus on protecting your crew. -- Picard Tips The best reply to married people who say "maybe you haven't met the right one yet" is "maybe you haven't either." -- Sarah Jones I turn up at your door wearing only a trench coat. I seductively untie the belt to reveal the rest of my Inspector Gadget costume -- Sarah Jones I'm pretty sure that the biggest reason for closed source software is shame. -- Gero Takke Okay, but conversely, are you afraid of yes ghosts? -- Chris Hallbeck "Oh they'll see. They'll all see..." - me buying prescription glasses for all my dear friends -- Sarah Jones *holding up a giant pair of pants* I used to be fat.. but I lost it all on this amazing diet! *starts ravenously devouring the pants* -- Sarah Jones Performing the ventriloquist trick of drinking a big glass of water but saying nothing. just reminding everyone to stay hydrated -- Deirdre morse code? too complicated. how about we use lerss code. -- bens rights activist Some folks are anti-swearing, but I'm pro-fanity. -- Fowl Language Comics Got fired from working the vinyl pressing machine for yelling “It’s a new record!” every 10 seconds. -- Chris Hallbeck I have absolutely no idea which social media is most normal to reach out to an acquaintance these days so I have decided to not have any friends -- Deirdre creating an IRL beauty filter by simply smearing Vaseline over the eyes of whomever looks at me -- Deirdre ok yes technically I don’t live by the advice I’m giving but like.. that’s irrelevant and honestly rude of u to even bring up -- Deirdre If all you can talk about at Christmas is people’s weight or food choices then you’re boring as heck and legally have to eat outside by yourself -- Deirdre Doing a trust fall completely alone to prove all I need in this world is myself. ribs breaking. but spirit stronger than ever -- Deirdre The key to making programs fast is to make them do practically nothing. -- Mike Haertel Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. -- Fred Brooks Hence plan to throw one away; you will, anyhow. -- Fred Brooks A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be patched up to make it work. You have to start over with a working simple system. -- John Gall Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing. -- Nick Mathewson Today in technology: My food tracker won't let me compensate for breastfeeding My sleep tracker thinks I'm waking 4 times a night to check facebook Unrelated: Diversity in product development teams -- Laura Bell Forensic Files: but the murderer made one mistake, they left behind a single fingerprint... Me *literally covered in cat hair all the time*: lol dumbass -- Sarah Jones Magermilchjoghurt enthält alle Vokale in der richtigen Reihenfolge. Bitte, gern geschehen. -- Aziza👩🏻‍🦱 The thief moved the picks carefully in the lock, listened intently, felt for the response, until the bolt at last sprung open. Did she hear a sigh, a faint "thanks"? Or was it just metal coming to rest on metal? She smiled, put her tools away, and patted the lock. "My pleasure." -- Micro SF/F stories Verdauen ist gut, Kontrolle ist besser. -- Jen therapy: • expensive • boring faking your own disappearance and framing your husband for murder: • dramatic • featured on TV and talked about for decades • Agatha Christie vibes -- the library haunter 🦉🎄❄ An engineer who works remotely should be called an 'engifar'. -- Greg Ferro aka ‘Etherealmind’ since turning 30 i spend a lot of time wistfully looking out windows like an old fisherman haunted by memories of the sea -- Deirdre me: thank you for that glass of milk earlier sperm bank employee: what glass of milk me: the glass of milk that was sitting on your desk sperm bank employee: oh my god me: what sperm bank employee: you drank my glass of milk -- Kellen "Kind of a crap gift, isn't it?" one said. "I think they made it themselves," another agreed. Inside the horse, Greek morale was sinking. -- A Small Fiction Never store your gender in plaintext. -- Actual Doctor Galaxykate (A man is drinking punch) Server: Would you like a refill? Man: Nope. (The entire plot of One-Punch Man, I assume) -- Chris Hallbeck “this is efficient,” I whisper into the ear of the person with whom I’m sharing the revolving door -- Taming Fred Savage The forest witch was ancient. Older than the town, some said. None knew for sure. They guessed on the candles. She liked the cake anyway. -- A Small Fiction "I'm lonely," she said, "do you have a potion for making friends?" "Sure. Drink this," the witch said. "Tea?" "Yep. What's on your mind?" -- A Small Fiction He woke in his coffin. Six feet up, the other undead were probably already hunting the living. He tested the lid. Sure seemed heavy. Nah. -- A Small Fiction She whistled, and all the candles lit. "Um. Special effects?" he said. "Sure," the witch said. She did consider the effect quite special. -- A Small Fiction "What am I?" it asked. "Artificial life," he said, "I created you." "Oh. Why?" "To help me study death." He reached for the off switch. -- A Small Fiction "Bark!" the dog said. "What? Someone pushed Timmy in the well?" he said. "Bark!" So they ran to the well. And the dog pushed him in too. -- A Small Fiction "Ahshaha!" The necromancer gestured to his army of skeletons. "Behold! With these, I shall seize power!" "I don't know," his intern said, "modern weapons are pretty efficient. They have flamethrowers and stuff." "Fool! You think I'd send these to fight? I will send them to vote!" -- Micro SF/F stories I was about to start my machine when a man suddenly appeared in the lab. "I come from the future," he said. More people appeared as he spoke. "Are you here to stop me?" I asked. "No, to witness." Proud, I turned back to my machine, then heard a whisper: "This bit is hilarious!" -- Micro SF/F stories the pelican implies the existence of the pelican't -- Kristen Arnett TCP implementations should follow a general principle of robustness: be conservative in what you do, be liberal in what you accept from others. -- Jon Postel Failures are much more fun to hear about afterwards; they are not so funny at the time. -- C. A. R. Hoare There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. -- C. A. R. Hoare Farewell Abraxas! I always liked that one: ~abraxas/sentimentalbloop.mp3 '########::'##::::'##:'########:'##::::'##:'##:::::::::'########::'#######::'########::'########:'##::::'##:'########:'########:: ##.... ##: ##:::: ##:... ##..:: ###::'###: ##::::::::: ##.....::'##.... ##: ##.... ##: ##.....:: ##:::: ##: ##.....:: ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##:::: ##:::: ##:::: ####'####: ##::::::::: ##::::::: ##:::: ##: ##:::: ##: ##::::::: ##:::: ##: ##::::::: ##:::: ##: ##:::: ##: #########:::: ##:::: ## ### ##: ##::::::::: ######::: ##:::: ##: ########:: ######::: ##:::: ##: ######::: ########:: ##:::: ##: ##.... ##:::: ##:::: ##. #: ##: ##::::::::: ##...:::: ##:::: ##: ##.. ##::: ##...::::. ##:: ##:: ##...:::: ##.. ##::: ##:::: ##: ##:::: ##:::: ##:::: ##:.:: ##: ##::::::::: ##::::::: ##:::: ##: ##::. ##:: ##::::::::. ## ##::: ##::::::: ##::. ##:: ########:: ##:::: ##:::: ##:::: ##:::: ##: ########::: ##:::::::. #######:: ##:::. ##: ########:::. ###:::: ########: ##:::. ##: ........:::..:::::..:::::..:::::..:::::..::........::::..:::::::::.......:::..:::::..::........:::::...:::::........::..:::::..:: thank you, network-science.de/ascii and Tim Berners-Lee Other green sites * ~benharri * ~caff * ~emilis * ~jeremy * ~magical * ~minerobber * ~nossidge * ~nova * ~papa * ~pyrho * ~rain * ~salixlucida * ~sanqui * ~staplebutter * ~suetanvil $ echo also a green site: ~example | mail walfisch -s green _ o | | | _|_ | | __| _ _|_ __ _ _ | | |/ / | |/ | / \_| | |_/ |/ | |_/|_/|__/\_/|_/|__/o|_/\__/ \/ \/ | |_/ thank you, vilmibm * *** ********* ******* ************* *********** ***************** *************** ******************* | Time is money. ~ Benjamin Franklin Time is a waste of money. ~ Oscar Wilde Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. ~ Douglas Adams