{ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ wesbat's __ __ _____ _ _ _ │▒ │ \\ \\ / / | __ \\| | (_) | │▒ │ \\ V /_____| |__) | |__ _| | ___ │▒ │ > <______| ___/| '_ \\| | |/ _ \\ Purity │▒ │ / . \\ | | | | | | | | __/ Control │▒ │ /_/ \\_\\ |_| |_| |_|_|_|\\___| Test │▒ │ │▒ │ How much have you been corrupted by T H E X - F I L E S │▒ ├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤▒ │ INDEMNITY: This is for fun only. I take no responsibility for │▒ │ your state of mind, or your actions resulting from this test. │▒ │ I cannot confirm nor deny that this test even exists. │▒ │ Good Luck! │▒ ├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤▒ │ Get the latest version at tilde.town/~wesbat │▒ ├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤▒ │ ╔═════════╗ │▒ │ Answer questions by typing [y]es or [n]o ║ version ║ │▒ │ Press [?] for program help or [q]uit ║ 1.0 ║ │▒ │ ╚═══════╦═╝ │▒ ╘════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╩═══════╛▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ } [ WATCHING HABITS ] (You have watched seasons 1 through 7?) (... more times than you can recall?) (watched seasons 8 and 9?) (... and regretted it?) (watched seasons 10 and 11?) (watched both movies?) (watch the movies in the correct chronological order?) (can identify any season 1 episode just from the opening scene?) (watch the title sequence in its entirety, every time?) (check if the line "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE" changes?) (figured out which episodes are featured in the title sequence?) (know in which seasons the title sequence changes?) (watch an episode every Friday \(the show's original time slot\)?) (watched an entire season, one episode a week, every Friday?) (tried watching other fringe shows, hoping to find another as good?) (... and was disappointed?) [ STYLE ] (You think a trench-coat will look good on you?) (... and you already own one?) (have dyed your hair auburn?) (... while wearing your trench-coat?) (have made yourself a "special agent" badge?) (... and wear it in public?) (ever dressed up as a character from the show \(cosplay\)?) [ BEHAVIOUR ] (researched the science or paranormal events after watching an episode?) (subscribed to conspiracy theory or unexplained phenomena mailing lists or blogs?) (notice the numbers 42, 1013 or 1121 everywhere?) (read food labels and expect to see "purity control" as an ingredient?) (quote lines from the show in everyday conversation?) (scan the night sky for anomalous sightings?) (tell unsolicited callers that you cannot confirm nor deny your details?) (are reminded of Mr X when someone signs a text message with an "x"?) (keep a high-powered torch next to your bed?) (... and use it even though you don't have to \(like going to the loo\)?) (create your own food labels that reads "purity control"?) (ever taped an "X" to your window?) (... and received a mysterious note in the morning paper the next day?) [ MUSIC, PRINT & WEB ] (You have X-Files pictures on your computer?) (your current desktop wallpaper is one of them?) (listened to "Mark Snow – The X Files: Volume One" original soundtrack?) (read X-Files fan fiction?) (wrote X-Files fan fiction?) (read an X-Files paperback novel?) (read articles or books about the paranormal?) (frequented X-File fan sites?) (... and you still do?) (... using the wayback machine or similar to view sites no longer online?) (have your own X-File fan site?) [ THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND ] (You hum or whistle the theme tune without realising it?) (... while in your sleep?) (had dreams of Mulder, Scully or Skinner?) ( ... of the Lone Gunmen?) ( ... of Deep Throat or Mr X?) ( ... of Krycek or the Smoking Man?) (had dreams where you helped Mulder & Scully solve a case?) (see the X-Files logo in Rorschach ink blots?) [ CREEPY THINGS ] (You often, if not always, check inside the toilet bowl before you sit down?) (stopped eating red meat after watching "Red Museum"?) (stopped eating chicken meat after watching "Our Town"?) (stopped asparagus after watching "Firewalker"?) (become unresponsive when someone says "Cerulean"?) (check the necks of dogs you meet for black nodules?) (... and also check their owners?) (worry about alien implants when you experience epistaxis?) [ MULDERISMS ] (You shell and eat sunflower seeds?) (... while you watch The X-Files?) (answer the phone with your last name?) (grunt, laugh or groan every time Mulder loses his gun?) (know Mulder's birthday?) (have an improbable yet not impossible explanation when your one sock is missing?) (you do what you think is right even at the risk of having your sanity questioned?) (when someone moans that mobile phones have dangerous rays you point out that tinfoil makes lovely hats?) (gave yourself the title of "FBI's most unwanted"?) (think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot?) [ SCULLYISMS ] (You grunt, laugh or groan every time Scully is kidnapped or abducted?) (... or every time she gets bonked on the head?) (know Scully's birthday?) (have the urge to announce "I'm a doctor" in high-pressure situations?) (roll your eyes whenever Scully rolls hers?) (have a plausible scientific explanation when your one sock is missing?) (when missionaries ask if you believe in the afterlife, you reply "I'd settle for a life in this one"?) < ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ THAT CONCLUDES THE TEST, AGENT. Your score represents how pure you are, or to put it another way, how much you haven't been corrupted by The X-Files. SCORE RANK REMARKS 81-100% non-believer You are mostly innocent from the corruption of The X-Files. Depending on your goals, you may want to watch and study the show more, or perhaps you'd enjoy watching the Golden Girls instead. 61-80% rookie You know the basics alright, but you have only scratched the surface of obsession, however you show great potential to spiral down this rabbit hole, if you so choose. 31-60% co-conspirator Your behaviour is odd enough to draw the attention of certain agencies. You should probably check your home for bugs. Keep watching, and your behaviour will undoubtedly escalate — but give this serious consideration, because you are nearing the point of no return for fan obsession. 21-30% detective You immediately notice strange phenomena in everyday life, no matter how small, and more importantly, you will investigate the nature of what your observe without fail. You are fast becoming a rare kind of fan. It may be time to invest in a bright flashlight and an ID badge. 11-20% special agent You have certainly been corrupted by The X-Files. Your thought process undeniably leans towards obsession with everything X, the paranormal or the unexplained. Also, you can now legally use the title "X-Phile". 0-10% spooky Your are a genetically-engineered fringe freak with the collective knowledge of The X-Files encoded in your DNA. You breathe X and very well could have green blood. It would be a good idea to neither confirm nor deny your obsession when approached by secretive government agents — who no doubt are monitoring your activities. >