Smashmouth's White Magic

“Somebody once told me, the world was going to row me, I ain’t the smartest tool in the shed.”

Are these lines from one of the most enduring songs of the 90’s? Or are they a sacred text from the occult teachings of hermetic alchemy? My answer is both. Tonight, I ‘d like to talk to you about the hidden, mystic significance of Smashmouth. and I know I only have a few minutes, but that’s fine. This will be quick, because it is obvious.

The basic idea of Hermetic alchemy is that we are all made of two basic elements: Light and Sound. This is also the basic idea of every Smashmouth song. Both tell us that human beings are simply light condensed into matter, and through ritual we can change the light that radiates from us and thus change the world around us. But the first step is being made aware that we are all light. Or, to paraphrase “All Star”: we’ll never shine if we don’t first glow.

Let’s take a closer look at this song. It is filled with occult references. The chorus is “Hey now, you’re an all star.” You are all star, you are made of star. They make the alchemy even more explicit later when they say, “All that glitters is gold.” This is an important point. It is not just humans that are all stars. It is everything. Everything is made of the same original element, but in different forms. The ground we walk on is no different than the sun that lights our way. It is all star stuff. As above, so below. Or to put another way, “we might as well be walking on the sun.”

Now, I am like a lot of you, in that I only know two Smash Mouth songs (plus the cool cover they did for Shrek), so I bought their album to dig a little deeper. I was surprised by what I found. First, notice the cover. A neon-lit hotel is floating off a rock in space. The idea of this is absurd! Mod hotels and outer space don’t go together, just like 60’s surf rock usually doesn’t go with 90’s socal raprock. But Smashmouth unifies these opposing elements. Their cover works as a psychedelic. It upsets the senses, so you can hear the message more clearly. And the message is in the title: Astro Lounge. Literally: relaxation in light.

So let’s take a look at their track listings and deeper cuts.

Track 1: All star. (Smart, start with the single.)

Track 2: Baphomet Speaks.

Track 3: The Emerald Tablet of Hermes Trismegistus.

Track 4: To Lay with Endymae the Ethereal (The Handclap Song)

Track 5: Black Mass, Pt 1.: The gathering

Track 6: Black Mass, Pt. 2: renunciation

Track 7: Black Mass, Pt 3: initiation

Track 8: A really good cover of “Can’t Get Enough of you Baby”

Track 9: Black Mass, Fin: our Golden Unity

When you listen to the whole album, it all seems obvious. We can see now that the lead singer of Smash Mouth, Steve, is a modern mystic leader. He wears all the signs of the enlightened. He is rotund like buddha. The tips of his hair are frosted, to form a halo on his head. He wears sunglasses all the time to show that he does not need these eyes, for he does not see out of them. He sees out of this one (at this point, please know that I am pointing at my forehead).

Unfortunately, while Smashmouth is a source of good vibes and endless party, there is still an evil in this world. Mystery schools do not house just the holy. There is a dark evil in this world, bands enriched by the occult arts, whose only intent is obfuscation, to close us off from this holy clarity. Which brings me to why I am really here today, to sound a warning. I want to talk to you about Third Eye Blind.