24 september 2020
I went for a run first thing this morning and didn't push myself much, but it was still great to be out in the autumn sun. She was too tired to go, and said she'd go later. I'm worried she won't and will feel worse for it.
I'm going to the gym later, to work on my arms. I feel like they shrink away to nothing after a few days, faster than I could ever build them up. Some days I have this anxiety that I can feel them wasting, I can feel something in them eating itself. I guess that's maybe what body dysmorphia feels like. She says they look fine. I feel anxious in short sleeves.