10 may 2016

state of the ttbp

i've sprinkled accounts across the internet since the mid-90s. i've played a lot of video games. i feel a brief pleasure when i see a number go up and know that i caused that integer to increment; a triumphant note cues every small victory. sometimes, i collect badges. eventually, i am left with the hollow feeling that the only reason i've achieved is to increase the number of achievements i have.

this is not what i want as a human. i live for the sake of living, not for the ability to demonstrate my worth to others by showing them an integer. i like incrementing integers for fun. i do not want to attach integers to my sense of being.

the more i can separate the act of racking up points from the process of being a human, the more enjoyment i get out of both.

ttbp was a whim when i started it, but it's growing fast into a beautiful little nest of thoughts and ideas and communication. here are a few thoughts about """blogging""" that i've tried to work out for the past two decades:

that said, i'm focusing on honing these ideas, and developing ttbp whlie i continue to think about what this all means.

some basic practical consequences:

i still feel unresolved about how to display global things in general. chronologically makes sense, but it neccessarily favors frequent posters. random shuffle seems appealing, but too arbitrary and chaotic. alphabetical reminds me about how often i got screwed in elementary school for queuing up to the snack table.

ordered data structures bias how we read and perceive things.

please feel free to sendmail me about your thoughts!