I still feel.

that's the name of a song by half•alive (yt). it's tangential at best, but I like it.

When I'm furthest from myself
Feeling closer to the stars
I've been invaded by the dark
Trying to recognize myself when I feel I've been replaced

in a way, that's what this is here for. A log of how I was then and how I am now, so I can bring myself back to earth.



21 june 2025

proud of the things i did today, but also exhausted by the idea of doing more.

i'm the ta for a computing program at my work, and today was weird because i was the only admin in the office while all the students were starting to work on their projects. there were (understandably) a lot of bugs, and i am not the best person to be doing any of that because i don't have as much experience as the folks who weren't here today.

despite that, i dealt well with it overall. i did some of the techniques i learned while TAing in undergrad

it got really overwhelming around lunch and towards the end of the day, and it was a little discouraging because for the last couple hours of the day one group and i were struggling with a problem that we still haven't solved.

don't work on it now that it's the weekend though! they aren't paying you for that, and they won't treat you any better if you do. just work on it on Monday

people on feels are talking about growing plants. maybe i should try that, or maybe it'll cause me stress. if i decide to look into it, i should make sure to approach it without a pressure