05 september 2021
Really odd feels today. I'm feeling really withdrawn - father-in-law is staying with us, kiddo and spouse are playing video games in the living room, and I'm just in the back chilling in the bedroom. I don't know if it's hormonal (entirely possible), social exhaustion, or something else going on.
I filed my name and gender change this morning. The name change isn't actually a big deal, it's shortening my first name to what people actually call me, and so I don't have to deal with the longer version of my first name (which causes some dysphoria.) The gender change is a big deal - it means (at least in the eyes of the state of Oregon) that I would legally be nonbinary. My gender marker on legal documents that require one would have an "X" on them. I feel... pretty dang good about it. But also a bit strained, strange, and tired.