14 november 2022
Lost a friend this week. She was so full of life and energy, and there's a bit of me that's really sad that I wasn't able to spend more time with her over the years. Also a reminder that whatever it is I want to be doing with my life, I'd better get on with doing it.
I have to travel for work in February and be out and about as a trans person in a not-entirely-welcoming environment. I'm doing things like ordering new pants, looking for shoes, and just generally trying to see if there are things that I can do to feel ready. It also means flying on a plane for the first time in more than two years, and that experience was massively anxiety-inducing for me even at the best of times.
My spouse and I went to Brown's Ferry Park, a little bit south of us, and were able to see some amazing views from a little dock on the Tualatin River. It makes my heart feel good to finally be seeing the leaves change and everything feeling a lot like fall.
Work tomorrow starts a week where I must get critical things done. I feel like I'm juggling all sorts of things, and worried about dropping a few of them as I go. Relying on others the best that I can.
Glum, anxious, and moody are my feels right now.