19 june 2020
well, day 3.
D-5.
I can't wait.
tbh I feel a little weird about removing a part of me.
then again, that particular part does not appreciate HRT.
on the other hand, my brain absolutely appreciates HRT. it's like night and day, emotionally speaking. being able to have emotions that don't feel fake is priceless.
like how I noticed it a while ago, how I can talk about something and naturally convey emotion through my tone... by contrast to the mostly monotonous voice I had back in the old days.
not to mention the awesome physical effects. boobs, hips, all that.
and actually appreciating the reflection I can see on my screen right now.
besides, what is there to say about that particular body part?
it might still have the ability to inject absurd amounts of testosterone into my body if left unchecked, which would obviously ruin the aforementioned changes and put me back into that 'depressed zombie' emotional state.
getting it removed makes me infertile. I might already be, I don't know how well it resisted these 2.5 years of HRT. well, no big deal there, I'm not planing on having kids anytime soon.
what if I later want kids? we'll see whenever we get there.
I mean, look at the current context. we have big things happening mostly in a tight sequence. yellow vests, a large wave of similar movements worldwide, coronavirus, now the BLM movement...
the world is changing. for the best or for the worst, but things are changing.
I was already unable to predict anything about my future. go back in 2010 and try telling me that I'd end up dropping out of univ, going radical leftist, going through squats, transitioning...
but now? ahahahahahahahhhahahhh
let me deal with present things. like, you know, getting castrated. or finally getting my gender marker updated.
well, this was long.