24 november 2021
well.
feeling tired these days. winter and shitty weather aren't helping, either.
this also makes it easier for my insecurities to resurface, so... yeah.
I'm rebuilding my old desktop from circa-2010, and I'm nearly done with it
it's in the state it was in in 2016. it's also quite decent, I upgraded the RAM and it should be good to go with a new OS.
well.
at this point we also have to give an update on the synesthesia saga
I mentioned feeling sound in my body, and that's not going away. it's even evolving.
it's like my brain is going for some 'sound through all 5 senses' achievement or something.
anyway, the vibrations I feel are less intense, but now it also does temperatures: I sometimes get sensations of cold around my fingers, for example.
I also taste sound, it produces sensations on specific spots of my tongue that have nondescript, generally metallic tastes. weird.
I also feel that sound induces faint perturbation in my visual field, can't really make out any colors or shapes though.
oh well. we'll see how all this evolves, I guess.
noticing that these synesthesias are all induced by sound
I don't know why it's happening to me now specifically, but this may have to do with the fact my brain has a particular relationship to sound
for example: my memory is more auditive than visual. I'm not so good at visualizing or remembering graphical things, but sounds can stick in my mind with remarkable accuracy.
my brain also likes to associate sounds to words, ideas, etc... sometimes it's a mess. I pretty much always have some music or sound playing in my head.
another fun example: a while ago, I was thinking of my grandparents' house, and as I visualized the place, various typical sounds of that place came to my mind.
places also get sounds associated to them. for my current apartment, that is the regular sound the electricity meter makes as it spins, as well as the sound when opening the door.
I am also sensitive to noise, and have trouble following a conversation when there is concurrent sound (other conversations, music, ...). this prolly comes from being neuroatypical though -- I tend to be sensitive in all senses, not just sound. it's, well, like my senses are working too well.
well, I ran out of steam for tonight I guess.