07 september 2020

Oh my god the last few months have been incredibly socially bare. I have had no motivation to even look at a computer screen outside of work. Keep moving!

13 july 2020

I just learned that this server is not in my timezone! It is still July 12th where I am for a few more hours. I also need to pull in my vim config or at least just enforce a width limit so these paragraphs don't just trail off forever into the void of terminal text editors. Today was all right. I mostly nursed a sunburn from yesterday's bike ride and played video games with a friend (A). The social (if virtual) contact was good, I need as much time away from myself as possible these days. I called another friend (L) and gave him some advice for his interview with the company I work for. I'm not one for recs of personal friends usually, but he happens to be very qualified for the position and it's not even related to the thing that I do (software dev) so I feel like this is actually a good match. I hope he gets the job. I also talked to (N) today who gave me some tips on finding a new place, a thing I need to do soonish. My oldest friend (M) sent me pics of her hike today, as has become quarantine tradition, and I really want to live near some mountains. I got the sunday sads but fought it off by doing menial tasks (the adult chores I should have done earlier in the day) and I wasn't sure what to do next. Doing real programming outside of work has been tough lately because I am still running from some breakup feelings. Oh well, I'll get back to it. I need to spend less time policing myself and more time enjoying and embracing the ideas & feelings I bring into the world. I love this little unix box, it is small enough to feel private & cozy, but public enough to feed my millenial infinite-feed dopamine hit addiction - and still a little scary! Who is reading? Old farts? Whiz kids? Employers? Or are we all just regular fucking people connecting in the strangest way humans have ever done so? I hate the corporate vibration of the modern web - i want to be a hacker, roller blades & all.

12 july 2020

Hello, World

Hello, world! Just joined tilde.town and i am loving it. I am a 25yo full stack dev and I don't remember how I found this site. Someone probably shared a link on Mastodon. Anyway I'm feeling pretty good today, after a very difficult shelter-in-place period, a long job hunt with an early offer that was later rescinded due to said SIP order, and a breakup. Things are moving in the right direction, and I'm excited to make some unix-y friends here on the town.

I did get a job for real, after the first tease, and it's much better than my previous career. No more defense work for me, I'm trying to reduce the country's carbon footprint! So cool to say! Now I can feel better about the work I do and the effect I have on the world around me. I can focus on learning and not be constantly paralyzed by the guilt of setting up systems whose capacity to hurt people is purposefully kept out of my purview, chunked up into a million pieces so that no single participant can truly grasp the negative impact of their contribution to the action as a whole. I was in a pretty bad place before this career shift. I have to thank my best friend who saw my dread/panic and encouraged me to take a leap of faith. Thanks B. If you are reading this from a similar situation, don't give up on your dreams - that's what the bad guys want!


Today I went for a ~20mi solo bike ride by the ocean. I needed it. Lately I'm looking at alternative ways to make friends. COVID-19 stopped a lot of my social interaction, and I don't want to spread it to people with weak immune systems who couldn't fight it off. I don't have regular social media because I used to and it made me upset. Turns out having billion-dollar tech companies cyberstalking you and goading you into excessive shopping based on your personal fears is super bad for your mental health! I'm interested in the libre socials but none of my IRL friends will convert.