17 june 2023
Writing Everyday
I have a sense of urgency about my situation. Sometimes it morphs into anxiety that makes focus impossible. It has to be "If I can figure out how to make money in the next 20ish days you'll survive to see better future days". If it slides into "Make money now or you'll become homeless, lose access to medication, and slide back into health hell AGAIN" I won't even have a chance.
Finally my eczema is under control. Finally I can get a little sleep and it doesn't hurt to shower. I'm a small amount of money away from pulling off a survival miracle. If I can write everyday I have a better chance of success than if I don't. Sure, pinning my survival on a substack blog is a long shot, but it seems like getting hired in tech again with a long resume gap due to a disability which I also have to conceal is an even longer shot.