17 october 2023
I went to engineering school and all I got was the ability to understand climate science enough to know we're collectively sleep walking off a cliff. Oh, that, and a chronic illness from stress which has made my body a prison of unemployment and isolation. F- would not recommend.
On a pleasant(er) note:
The sun was shining, the bus was on time. I enjoyed a walk while it's still warm enough to walk around relatively unbundled. I cooked a delicious seitan steak which was the right balance of effort, price, taste, and nutrition. I got a big jar of almond butter which I can't afford, but I desperately need. I've decided that if I have no future beyond an increasingly difficult struggle with my health and [MONEY] then I should spend what little I have on good food.
Oh how I envy those who can shop without holding a small sum down to the cents in their heads as they do the caloric and financial math on each item. I lust after brazil nuts, jack fruit, flax seeds, blueberries, and the bulk bins at the food co-op where even the people with good jobs balk at their prices. I think I'd have to plan and execute a proper criminal caper if I want to get my hands on those $25 brown bags full of lion's mane mushrooms or single origin coffee beans with citrus and berry notes. I'm so tired of beans, rice, and the cheapest coffee grounds I can get. If food prices go any higher I'll have to give up bad coffee too.
People think if you give poor people money they'll just waste it. But I'd just to cook an amazing vegan meal for me and a few friends. Oh how I miss people too. Do those friends still remember me? It's strange how the pandemic normalized social disposal of those "beneath" people. But even if those people don't care about me now, I'd still like to cook them a meal. It'd be nice to feel useful again.