02 december 2023
Engineering school gave me the means to understand it. Being sick and living in isolation gave me time to study it. Having what most would consider "nothing" put me in a position that didn't require me to build up denial around it. I have no children to make me think "I'm sure they'll figure out something!".
What I've realized is there will be no rational acceptance that leads to sustained direct action. I guess that's fine. This whole "fully body eczema but my family just thinks I'm too lazy to stop scratching" is getting really old. Maybe a collapse of the global agricultural system will distract them from what a disapointment I am.
So if there is nothing to be done that anyone is willing to do, I should try to enjoy myself while I can, right? That makes sense but I can't accept it. I'm trying to get things going like growing Azolla in the Great Lakes and establishing controlled burns of known methane leaks, but I have no clout, no influence, no power. I know there are smarter people out there with similar ideas; people who aren't imprisoned by their bodies. That gives me hope.