01 september 2025
Five days in town and I'm starting to feel more comfortable. The shell is a little less daunting and I'm starting to remember some commands. It feels nice to have a little web page and space to log random thoughts and small achievements away from the noise; almost like a little holiday house. It is so different from where I've been online before this. I've left behind corporate social media; so tired of the performance. I tried Bluesky for a while, dipped into Mastodon, joined a few Discord channels. Still too much performance for me. It feels strange to admit but I feel like I've never found my demographic; like I float through spaces not built for me.
Until very recently my creativity was spread far across a heap of platforms and I have slowly consolidated it all into my own website, now it's quiet. Dead quiet. It feels like a relief but it's also uncomfortable. I have to sit with my own work. There is no immediate validation from random strangers, no dopamine loops. What makes it more difficult is that I do not have any friends that have any interest in slow web ideas, experimental and minimalist code, not even my significant other gets it. I mentioned tilde.town the other evening and how it would make a fascinating ethnographic study and they said:
"sounds like you're obsessing."
So I made some ascii art and marvelled at how beautifully simple it was and went back to living inside my own head.