26 december 2022
so after doin all my stuff with terminal based vim for a year it turns out i get annoyed when other IDEs don't have vim shortcuts. I mean I know that using vim to navigate gamemaker studio is not what the general public would want At All but god damn it i would love it so much. it would just... its like it would fit some intuition that i've been building since i've been doing all my creative work and all my learning to code while using vim. i used visual studio code on github to do advent of code and i chose only to work out of vim in the terminal. i really do not like how some of these editors autocomplete brackets once the opening bracket is typed. also i gotta fine tune the settings on my gvim on my laptop to be a bit more like tilde.town's. i really like how the line numbers are displayed. maybe i should go for neovim? idk.
i feel faaaaaaantastic. so As It Turns Out. I have not taken an actual Vacation Break, since two weeks in October. So I have been Taking a vacationbreak since one week ago. this it turns out is Very Important.
taking a break is quite Important and so i will be riding out this break for as long as i can make myself take a break.
it turns out! that! completely unemployed completely chill and living with close family and supported, i am happy! and safe. and i am disabled and they support me so much. which really makes my life so much so much better. this has several positive effects on my life.
i am YOUNGGGGG I am 20 years old. I can recognize how much of what i'm living is SO gonna be grouped in with me Being Young when i'm like. an adult remembering my life through certain eras. like i have some idea in mind for me personally that i know i am crossing the threshhold into adulthood quite soon. it's gonna be a new experience and a very distinct one due to different factors. so like. right here to this month to this day to this christmas i have been recognizing that this specifically is my distinct vibes as myself. like i'm giving myself all the room and space to have a safe happy not-hungry hobby-rich artsy teenage christmas. which i have not had before ever. so getting This One was really special.
i also think life is just generally gonna get better from this point on. and this feeling fucking rules. i also am finally the vibe i have WANTED to be for SO LONG!!! i am finally the person in the situation i WISHED i was in in 2015. i have been WAITING for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok like i say i have taken a break. For one i finished a huge project on the 17th. I had been working on that since the end of october. <3 I taught myself gamemaker and did all the art and watched so many tutorials (mostly specifically one guy's way of doing it) and it was a birthday gift to a dear friend. She didn't expect it at all but she loved it so much. I borrowed ~abraxas's sentimentalbloop.mp3 for the video game's background music. There was a part where the puzzle was to complete an ear training exercise, to listen to a tune and reproduce it on the piano. And she said the perfect level of difficulty was trying to listen to the piano music while this beautiful orchestral piece is in the background.
(Apparently I made the little tune uncharacteristically hard for an ear training exercise? Cause she's really good at it but she said it was "twelve tonal" and I don't know anything about ear training so I just made a jaunty little tune that I thought sounded fun. Also the jukebox tune was in one midi soundfont and the piano was in a different one cause i thought it Made Sense. Gameplay! And acoustically i liked it better.)
I've been taking a break cause i finished it but i have yet again filled the void with art projects. ocimum.neocities.org and especially /art.html cause that's where everything i've been doing the last week is. i have also spent my time: chilling out. being awesome. also there was Christmasssssssss and i got a lot of nice things. definitely ups the vibe.
in other news jupiter has entered aries and is moving into the third house imminentely! me well i think it is so cool that i have an information device and a program that colorfully and elegantly shows the exact true position of the stars.
there is also a camera function! complimentary and derogatory. at some level it is useful for video calls but! I miss my old laptop that had a swivel camera.
i have since covered the immovable laptop camera on my Regular Guy with a bandaid that i got from being a VIP at Daniel Howell's tour. i MET HIM. I HUGGED HIM. I HAVE A VIDEO OF A LITTLE OF THE INTERACTION AND I -----------
So miracles happen. Personal miracles happen. I know what a miracle looks like to me when i fucking see one!!!!!!!!
the bandaid says ask me about my injury
jupiter is in the secound house in aries at this moment, which is my house of aries, although it moves into the third house soon
NEW BLOG IDEA cause i Can't Stop Coming up with Things to do.
one of them is to make an astrology based journal.
The other idea i had was that the schooling system is inhumane for many many reasons but like one idea i hold in particular is that there should be the option for a gap year between eighth grade and high school. Like not mandatory but could be freely chosen. i think not having a gap year and a BIT of time to just Chill Out and do hobbies is just inhumane honestly.
See one of my hangups about the astrology journal is that i was worried for privacy reasons if it would be too much to give away. Cause it would be too obvious to who i am in terms of mental and emotional state. I think though that it is actually quite obtuse to most people and so my autistic worry that it would be Too Obvious is a bit funny. Like I consider telling y'all that aries is my second house and jupiter is there right now... like that reveals a lot actually.
hmmm... my second house of aries starts at the 25th degree. since jupiter is in the 0 degree and coming out slowly further direct into aries, it's not quite in my second house of aries. aries rules my second house but jupiter is currently in a degree in my first house. and it's in the General third house. my first house is ruled by pisces, and due to pisces being my rising sign Jupiter is my chart ruler classically. Neptune is the modern chart ruler but it's either jupiter or jupiter/neptune for me personally. Jupiter is in cancer in my birth chart, and jupiter is exalted in cancer. It's also in my fifth house in my birth chart, barely 2 minutes into cancer's fifth house.