15 october 2023
i had a good day today. there was a festival on campus today that was celebrating our culture (culture of my ancestors too) and it was awesome. i tried a bloody mary for the first time and it was really good especially with the garnishes. there was great music and also crafts being sold and i saw some old friends and i got henna done. although it flaked off kinda early and i hope it sets correctly. there was good dancing and great food, i had alligator sausage on a stick.
i played board games with my friends afterwards and won twice in a row :)
it was a good saturday. the henna has a moon and some dangles and stars. called my mom, she sent me a bit of money, it covered the henna.
sometimes i wonder like. is it ever going to get easier? and i don't have that answer. you would think good days like this would sway me to thinking that yes it does get easier but i can't really say. i think everything is a wave. and the hardest parts will be the hardest parts again and again and come and wash over me again and again but good times will wash over me as well.
i just wish i was around people who understood me. more than just my therapist.