07 october 2023
Gratitude
- got to hang out with my friend Eli for a bit
- another laser hair removal appointment; I appreciate past Stef for looking out for present Stef
- dozens for sharing some sideload games for the Playdate. I had forgotten that was even a thing
Tarot
Question
I've had energy to go out a meet new people recently, but I've also seen that blow up when I run out of energy and feed depression. How should I balance making new friends/playmates with sustaining my mental health?
Draw
Eight of Wands
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Movement, fast paced change, action, alignment, air travel
Reading
It's OK to lean into the energy you're currently feeling. Meet new people. Keep things light. Find people who share your values and make connection. Maybe also reach out to your certain crush across the pond. ;)
A letter to my depressed self
Dear Stef,
Our therapist instructed me to write a letter to you when I was feeling up. This is that letter. I've printed it off for your an put it in a safe place, and also given it to our partners to give to you when you're depressed.
If you read nothing else, read this: it is going to get better. You will feel like your old happy self soon enough. The worries and stressors stay around, but your brain can compartmentalize them in a way that you're having trouble with now, and you can chip away at them one at a time.
You've probably been taking some time off of work and isolating from your friends as loved ones. They know you struggle with depression, and that you hiding away for a bit is one of the aspects in an all-together great relationship. They know you'll be back. (Though if you haven't yet already, it might be good to have a small check-in with your partners and your boss. It doesn't have to be big. It can even just be the word, "depression."
It might seem like things are over. That you're broken. You're not. You can trust me because I've been there and now I'm here, and you'll be here soon enough too. You are a kind, wonderful, and smart person. That's still true of you now, and you'll feel that again soon. I promise.
Hang in there. Watch some Star Trek. Do that TIPP (Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced Breathing, Progressive muscle relaxation) thing our therapist talked about. If you can, go outside, at least to your balcony. Also, if you're feeling up to it, write me a letter. I wanna know how you're doing.
With love, Stef
P.S. Snape kills Dumbledore.