22 october 2025
Most of the stress is gone now, but I still feel uneasy. Too many things happening, not enough I can do. At least if I were overwhelmed with things to do, I could prioritize and go from there, but right now I just have to wait and try not to panic.
Around a year ago, I realized something: happiness has to be fought for, and depression won't disappear unless I fight it. Both still remain true, and I've gotten good at fighting, but I'm tired. I don't want to fight anymore, but I have to, so I will keep fighting until I stop needing to. Wonder when that will be.
The event at school went pretty well, by the way. I know I mentioned it yesterday, so I might as well put a follow-up here. It wasn't anything important, but it was fun, and took my mind off the stress. It also gave me time to set up mosh and try to get my personal server to work with it (which didn't work due to port forwarding issues), so that was fun.
Not much else to say, really. I suppose that's a good thing: the more things I think of to write here, the worse things are going usually. I'm also tired both physically and mentally, so I suppose that doesn't help. Just noticed how often the word "I" is used for this, not sure why it feels wrong to use it so much. Maybe I'll figure it out later.
I'll post here tomorrow. If I don't, then either things suddenly got better or I was too tired to post. mi tawa.