19 august 2018
The first conference presentation I attended today was really energizing, a long look at user experience for open source software from Maírín Duffy that got me interested in the field (though… I'm really not a designer).
I… did not introduce myself to anyone at this conference in the end; I found the thought of it incredibly daunting.
Feeling a bit like a failure because
- with our minivan im a state where we can't afford to repair it, the spouses and my sister and my child are basically stuck at home when I drive to work
- even without putting money into the minivan we're pretty broke and my schlepping into the city dor this conference and spending $5 on cafeteria lunch at work all the time isn't helping, and
- the transportation situation will be made more accute by my return to school
Last fall I was a part-time student working 40 hours per week in retail, taking 4am shifts and cobbling together Dead Monochrome Doggerel for printing through CreateSpace in the campus library between classes. This semester might be more about just keeping it all together.
I don't know where I fit into it all, or whether I'm doing a good job as a parent, a student, an intern… I'm not going to think about how I'm doing as a writer/artist becauae I feel like right now I can only handle being three things.