01 september 2018

Really kinda depressed for no reason today? It's fall though, in the sense that it's September and the fall semester is about to start, so that's par for the course, so to speak. Trying to be caffeinated & alert enough to be responsive to my child.

~holyspiritomb's relatives from New Jersey are coming to our house today & I'm already in that overwhelmed state where it feels like people are talking loudly on purpose even though said relatives haven't arrived yet.

I had to tell my mom I have to give her part of our rent payment a week late; we're a little worried about Spouse E & my sister having enough money for their upcoming medical trip to the West Coast, to cover food & local transportation, though thankfully we've already paid for their airfare & lodging. Our rent payments don't even fully cover my mom's mortgage on the two-family house we share, so it's distressing when we can't even pay it on time. Yesterday Spouse E asked me why we're always broke & I suggested maybe it's because we're a family of five (me & my two spouses, our child, and my sister, who eats her meals & goes to most of her medical appointments with us) trying to live on the income of an undergraduate intern (me) and one other person who gets relatively small monthly disability payments.

We often talk about how crowded this town is, considering there's basically nothing of interest to do around here.

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I was in a mood earlier and without thinking much spammed chat with some figlet output like the above, using the moscow.flc control file that converts certain ASCII input characters to Cyrillic letters. Above is in the Georgia11.flf font.

Socializing is hard but ~holyspiritomb's relatives are nice, so that helps. They brought a very young kitten they're fostering. Kitten & my child are napping with ~holyspiritomb in their bedroom.

My mood is seriously messed up today. I drove out to pick up some food and I was just really freaked out by all people cutting me off on the road like they usually do, and I think my reaction time was slower than usual.

~holyspiritomb's niece just piled a bunch of stuffed animals on my lap, so now I'm just sitting here in the rocking chair holding them, which is nice. Said niece is happily exploring some of our toys on her own.

I might try to see a psychological counsellor at my school, when the semster starts? I'm kinda nervous that they wouldn't know what to do, though, with a 27-year-old parent & whatnot. But I guess it's better to try it than to… not try it.