12 may 2025
Today I walked in (figuratively speaking, it was on discord) on my friends
planning their summer trip without me. I sat there with my mic muted, watching
the shared screen as they were deciding where to go. The girl sharing quickly
stoppped transmitting, she was fairly fast and everyone went quiet. They
disabled their camera and stayed quiet for a while, just saying a few comments
like "look at what I sent you", I guess they were trying to alert the others
that didn't realize I was in the VC. After a while BDR sent me a message
apologizing for not talking about this with me first. Apparently they decided to
have a trip without me because g-ajar will be going with them, and since she
can't really stand me and since I was on the trip last year, I was excluded.
She said because of this they decided we'd take turns going on summer trips,
alternating each year. I can't say I'm happy about this, after all who would be
after being excluded, but I guess I brought this on myself. I really wanted to
fix what happened with g-ajar but there really aren't many occasions for that.
She REALLY prefers whenever I'm not there, which I guess it's what really
bothers me. I find her a very interesting person, it's really a shame it turned
out the way it did.
BDR said that she's sorry she didn't bring it up before any planning. She said
it was mean of her not telling me right away, before starting to plan the trip.
But I wonder, would she have told me if I didn't walk in on them? And when would
she have told me? It's one of those things that really doesn't make you look
good in any way, regardless of what you say since whatever you say afterwards
seems just a way to justify what you did. I wish she had told me sooner, after
all last year I was willing to stay home to let g-ajar go with them.
But like I said, I guess I brought this on myself...