01 september 2021
Doing okay today! Saw a friend, found out our sister has really bad social anxiety (welcome to the family, we're all mentally ill), and messed with synths some more. Had a few deep talks about mental health in general and a little about social habits and tendencies. Ate a fajita with WAY too much lime- I swear it tasted like biting a lime. Good thing I like lime, but yikes.
Still trying to figure out how to improve in-system relationships so we aren't yelling at each other and cussing each other out all the time. It's pretty bad. It used to be adaptive I'm sure, but now it just hurts everyone. We don't talk about it a lot because it's vulnerable and it's hard to admit that you don't get along with the people in your own brain, but it's a real issue and we need to work on it. The main question is how when half the people here don't see the point or don't want to. It's hard to change when you're still convinced that you're going to be hurt at any given moment and lashing out is your best option for preventing that. We need to work on that, talk about maladaptive coping more and get through to everyone that things are better now and there's no need to insult people to stay safe and be heard.
Content warning below for talk about depression and suicide. Don't worry, we're okay! It's about a close friend we've been helping find
mental health resources for a month or two with no luck.
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Really worried about a friend. He's been struggling with depression for ages, and he almost attempted this last weekend. We've been doing all we can to help him stay afloat (and no, he isn't using suicide as a manipulative tool, we know the difference) but there are no therapists around here that are taking new clients, and he's starting to give up hope. He needs help and no one is giving it. We need much better mental healthcare around here. Probably going to check out telehealth next and see if anything is open there outside of the local area, but I doubt there will be many openings there either that accept insurance. He can't afford therapy or medication without insurance.
It's just rough. He's our closest friend (which is saying a lot) and we don't want him to die. It hurts me how much he's hurting at this point without access to help. I hate that we're running out of things we can do to help him at all. I hope someone has an opening soon for him.