16 february 2022
The last couple of days I felt a lot of strange, constant stress. The feeling of having a lot to do but not doing enough, not having enough time, or not spending it right. I constantly want to work on creative projects, but finding time while maintaining personal relationships and working a full time work is difficult. I think I trapped myself in a kind of mental snare, where I can't feel properly satisfied with the day unless I've made progress on personal creative projects, even if I've exercised or had a lot of fun with friends and/or romantic partner. I really love and want to spend time on artistic pursuits, but I need to feel truly satisfied even those days I can't.
Not sure why this is the case. Feels like I've tricked myself, somehow. Might be that I'm still used to have a lot more spare time on my hands. A luxury problem, I'm aware.
The last few days have been better, though. Wish I could properly identify what affects my mood.
Got some more ideas about this though. Working on a longer blog post (fairly stream-of-consciousness).