~palmdrop@TTBP



15 march 2022

I need a large, meaningful project that does not feel like a waste of time. Even when I'm learning, I can't stop feeling that I could do something more productive or meaningful. I've written about this previously. Sometimes it feels like I can't think of anything else.

But well, I'd like to keep working with art, whether it's music or writing or generative art, but I want it to feel meaningful, not just abstract. I've been doing abstract generative art for a long time now, and although I love experimenting with techniques and effects, it's starting to feel pointless. Not saying that art has to have a point or be actively challenging, dangerous or thought provoking, to be meaningful. I just have a desire to explore expression through art more. Being able to say something. But all I know how to do is create generative stuff. Not sure how I channel that into something I will find fulfilling and meaningful in this stage of my life.

Keep thinking and keep exploring, I suppose.