01 september 2022
Some serious feels...
aprehension
I am a father. I live wth my wife and our four children, three cats, and two dogs. It is a good life that we have together.
Around twelve and a half years ago, my wife and I decided to look for a puppy. We looked in the local classifieds and drove about an hour away to take a look at some Labrador puppies. We were under-prepared for the cuteness, and ended up taking two puppies home -- sisters from the same litter. We called the black one Rachel, and the yellow pupper we called Sophie.
At the time, our oldest child was only two years old. For as long as they can remember, our children have always had those two puppies in their life. The puppies have always been a part of the family.
About 8 weeks ago, child number three opened the back door. There was Sophie, just at the bottom of the steps, peacefully and eternally resting in the shade. She just laid down, and left us. It happened during the day while my wife and I were both at work. We both feel guilty that we were not there to hold our puppy at the end. My little 10 year old child was not at all prepared to find her like that. We were all unprepared.
My wife called me in the early afternoon to tell me what had happened. I drove home after work and approached the front door. Kid number three was sitting on the front porch. When she saw me, neither of us said anything. I could tell that she was trying bravely to contain the pain that she felt, but when she saw me the tears started to flow. I just opened my arms and held her. All of us could feel the pain of the loss. However, I could see that my little girl was deeply shaken. From her view, she just lost something that was consistently present for her whole life.
After a few minutes, she led me inside the house and took me to the backyard. Sophie lay there, still peacefully sleeping away. The whole family gathered around her, holding each other, trying to understand. I gave Sophie one last scratch behind the ears, and we wrapped her in a tarp an together we carried her to my pickup truck. Our little wake complete, I took her to the cit shelter to be cremated.
time moves
Last night at our house everyone was relaxing. The kids were playing and I was busy exploring tilde.town. Kid number three walks into the office behind me. Her voice is calm and cool. She says that Rachel, our other old puppy, is laying down in the rocks, and she won't come when she is calling. -- At first I say, She's just sleeping. She likes the rocks in the shade. -- Then I turn and look at my daughter, and I see that her eyes full of tears. My heart dropped.
We walked out together -- and Rachel woke up and came to greet us when we walked around the corner of the house. My little girl is brave and strong. We talked for a few minutes. She saw the dog sleeping, with flies all over it's face, and she was taken back to the day she found Sophie on the back porch.
Death is such a tricky thing for the living. It will come for us all. There is no escaping it. We try to avoid it, but the world is a reminder of it. All we can do -- is make the most of the time that we have.
The weeks have passed on. Life continues. The kids are back in school again. We brought a new little pupper back into our life -- a beautiful little Chocolate lab we call Dreamy. It is a good life we have together.
Thanks for the space to share. -- samyules