14 january 2021
i saw my psychiatrist and went to psychodrama today.
the inszenierung (forgot what the word is in english, or french for that matter) of the day was me and a friend who i thought was abandoning me. i've had a bad week, really. in that scene i played first my friend, then my id, than myself, crushed by fear
i haven't written any oulipo content lately nor have i written any poetry or anything at all, really, it's lamentable.
but for now 明 is still here... that lets me breathe. people here are so fuckin nice. it's crazy.
i gotta get better.
also!!!
satsu-sama has begun producing leaves i can see its roots are kinda still the same, long and thread- like. it's beautiful and the first time i actually grow something that works. i'm so happy about that.
well, not happy, but, you know.
i'm so tired. i have a philosophy paper to rewrite even though i got perfect marks on it. i need to correct it and follow the comments the professor left on it but i'll do that tomorrow. i need to get 明 their gift.
they're going to be so disappointed.